Studying all day in a carrel, time moves slowly, and often entire days pass without you catching a glimpse of the sun. The good news is that there are great events happening on campus even amidst all this drudgery. One such event is Skies over Milton which is a sound and video installation in Cohen Gallery (Granoff) that will be open from Saturday, December 13 to Wednesday, December 17 from 4-9p.m. The installation by the theater company PearlDamour shows footage of the sky from five towns all named Milton (across the country) and examines what it means to be American. So if you are bogged down by all the work and just want to sit and relax, drop by the Granoff Center. The art will make you forget your finals (hopefully only temporarily) and allow you to lose yourself in the bigger questions.
This is meant to be a humor post, and is in no ways intended to offend those who work to maintain the immaculacy of the John Hay Library. It’s personally one of my favorite places to work, and I love it dearly and have profound respect for its staff.
Finals season is definitely not for the faint of heart. Between term papers, exams, and group projects, finals season is mentally and physically exhausting. The poor newly-renovated John Hay Library is a lowly first-year at Brown, and it’s definitely feeling the struggle. Here are three times the John Hay Library simply could not deal with finals season:
1. That time it just needed to sleep. The John Hay Library has been caught sleeping on the job twice this week! Between a 10:30 p.m. bedtime on Tuesday and a 4:08 p.m. power nap today, this poor little first-year is definitely struggling to adapt to the finals season sleep cycle (or lack thereof).
2. That time it forgot to drink Emergen-C and caught a cold. Poor John Hay Library hasn’t quite realized the importance of keeping its immune system strong during this tough time. It must have forgotten to take its daily dose of Vitamin C, because it started to get quite cold earlier this week. There was supposedly some sort of malfunction with the heater, but we all know that the John Hay Library was really just feeling a bit under the weather due to all of the stress and lack of sleep that comes with finals period!
3. That time it was too exhausted to print out its term paper. The John Hay Library finally finished its term paper, just before the deadline! However, it was just so mentally and physically run-down from the many long hours of work that it dedicated to the paper that it forgot to print it out! Poor thing.
Hang in there, John Hay Library! It’ll all be over before you know it!
As you’re probably well-aware, finals season is in full swing. It’s time for the University’s study resources to shine, so in honor of the many long hours we’re all spending in libraries, here are BlogDH’s official Fall 2014 Cubicle Superlatives! (This is definitely a thing that is real.)
Most beautiful: Main Reading Room, the Rock. Brand-new to the University, the Rock’s main reading room features several cubicles that can only be described as undeniably sexy. Just look at those partitions. And the chairs are so ergonomic…swoon.
Most artistic: RISD Library. I mean, the RISD library is literally an art school library. It doesn’t get much more artistic than that.
Cutest couple: SciLi, 13th floor. Look at that configuration–they’re truly lovers intertwined. So adorable.
With finals upon us, I have no doubt that many of you, like me, have classes that require final papers. They tend to loom over your week, your every waking moment dogged by the thought that you could be making some progress on an essay. At least with in-class finals you can tell yourself you’ve done all the studying that will be beneficial. A paper is in the back of your mind right up to the moment you pass the minimum page threshold, and even then you have to worry about editing. Under this level of stress, you might find yourself with some stubborn writer’s block. Fortunately, you can get around this in much the same way you get around stalled conversations: alcohol. Let your mind run free to get a draft done, then return at a later date to look upon your work and marvel at your typos. Depending on the assignment and the subject, you can indulge yourself with varying levels of inebriation. Let’s get down to business.
Hm, it seems I’ve stored my books beneath my booze. There’s only one way out of this.
Drink: Coke Zero
Drunkenness: You on your tenth birthday
This isn’t technically a final paper, but it is a take-home assignment that you have to write things on, so I’ll say it counts. Anyway, I hate to be the fun police here, but I can’t imagine successfully doing math whilst inebriated. If you can navigate the sea of numbers and party at the same time, then go for it, you beautiful lunatic.
Drunkenness: Out to dinner with close friends
Please note that I’m assuming you’ve already gathered the necessary information and references on which you’re basing the paper. If all you’ve got is a vague idea about what you want the subject to be, I’d suggest leaving the libations on hold.
A research paper is less about inspiration than precision. You don’t need to stir the reader’s heart with stunningly beautiful prose; you just have to make sure your arguments are concise and airtight. Drinking too much will work against this, so get a good beer and use it more to relax and enjoy the process of writing than to inspire the writing itself. If your only experience drinking beer before now is through funnels or Natty Light cans, you’ll want to slow down your pace. You can’t afford to
black out burn out too early. Research papers are frequently 10 to 15 pages in length, if not more. Take your time.
What makes a classic text “a classic”? In my indisputable, expert opinion it’s when a piece of writing so perfectly encapsulates a feeling that was previously thought to be indescribable. Speaking as a Jew, I can say that “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” is a classic because it is able to instill the feeling of what it is like to be a child on Christmas Eve. Inspired by this work, I have also attempted the impossible with what will soon be declared a classic, no doubt. Behold “‘Twas the Week Before Finals.“
’Twas the week before finals, and all through the school,
All the students were freezing, for the SciLi was cool;
The notes were lined up on the laptop with care,
But so was Facebook, so you know they’ll look there.
The children were nestled, all snug in their beds;
But you’re not a child, and you feel almost dead;
Health Services says eat well and sleep tight,
But an Oreo and an Aderall also feels right.
The Naked Donut Run is said and done,
So you’ve nothing to dream of till holidays come.
Your friends, they are leaving and saying goodbye;
So you study alone, and then just get high.
You should have taken that class S/NC,
Relax, you over-achiever, you’ll still get a B.
“I won’t get a job, I won’t do my best!”
Relax, you monster: It’s only a test.
Your home friends take selfies and post them online,
Stop looking and study and you’ll be just fine;
My god, get off Buzzfeed or you’re going to fail,
Stop procrastinating by checking your mail!