Are Whiskey Wednesdays a Thing of the Past?

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Way back in the day, Brown University students flocked to Fish Company Bar & Grille (aka FishCo) every Wednesday night for alcohol, stripper poles, and bouncers who were happy to turn a blind eye to even the worst of fake IDs. But FishCo sadly closed in 2011 (perhaps because of said bouncers), right before the current seniors arrived at Brown for their freshman year. In its place opened The Whiskey Republic – or WhisCo, in homage to its predecessor – yet again providing a Wednesday night activity for Brown Students.

This fall, though, there has been something amiss on our regular hump day Whiskey visits. What has traditionally been Brown Night seems to have transformed into Providence College (PC) Night, with a smattering of 21+ Brown students.

PC night has traditionally been on Thursdays, but only allows 21+ students. Recently, PC students caught wind of the 18+ privilege that has been bestowed upon Brown, and naturally flocked to the bar on Wednesday, crowding the 18+ line before Brown students had even started pre-gaming. The Brown students of legal drinking age had no trouble getting in, but those without legit IDs (or really, really good fakes) were deterred by the absurdly long line and peaced it back to campus. One sophomore says, “One night… we walked all the way down there and literally as soon as Whiskey came into our sights we saw about 150 kids wandering around the street and I just kept hearing ‘at capacity, at capacity.’ I honestly only recognized, like, 10 kids outside, all the rest were PC kids. That was precipitated by the week before, when we got there and the lines were already around the corner, and I tried sneaking in through a side door and got kicked out and had to take a full lap around the block, then barely got back into Whiskey. So yeah, after that second time I tried going, I knew we were fucked.”

After a couple weeks of these shenanigans, rumors began to swirl that Brown night at Whiskey would be coming to a halt, perhaps because the PC students were a more reliable source of profit. I sat down with Grant Senne ’16, a football player and Brown night coordinator, for the inside scoop.

Can you address the rumors that Wednesday night is becoming PC night?

It is not. There has been a Providence College contingent that [has] probably been higher than it has in the past, due to, I’d say, a dwindling number of Brown students just electing not to come out on Wednesday night for whatever reason […] whether it’s midterms or studying. It is still a Brown event, and through things like this UNICEF event that’s going on tomorrow night, which is a fundraising night, the owners of the Whiskey Republic and [the football team] plan to continue to make it a Brown night. And to enforce that and try to get Brown attendance back up, if you bring your Brown ID you get to skip the line… in order to ensure that if there’s a Brown student there, they’re not turned off by the fact that there are Providence College students waiting in line as well. So we can still make it as much of a Brown event as people want it to be.

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It Takes Two, Celeb Edition: Freshman guys and their famous Doppelgängers

Have you felt recently like you are seeing a lot of celebs around campus? Well, Emma Watson graduated and I am still NOT Ellen DeGeneres, so likely you are seeing a freshman guy who just happens to look like A-list celeb. Keep an eye out of campus for…

Grant Sholem / Seth Meyers

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Get to know Grant: When Grant is not sitting behind a desk, he is probably complaining about the “cold” weather, and how “in LA everything is better and prettier.” You may know Grant from the Brown Admirers Facebook group page, and recognize his sharp chin, tan cali-skin, and striking resemblance to the hilarious Seth Meyers. Or, you may know Grant from that time he won the Orange County Regional U-12 junior, lightweight fencing championship, where he placed in second until he was later disqualified for being confused with 30-year-old Seth Meyers. Classic Cali-mix up.

Ryan Simshauser / Young Joseph Gordon-Levitt

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Get to know Ryan: If you ask Ryan if he is actually Joseph Gordon-Levvit he won’t deny it, but rather ask for your number, then request that you take a photo with him and tag him in it ASAP. He is known for wearing his signature sunglasses and reminding you that he in fact took a gap year. Look for Ryan to be a physical athletic presence, whether he is playing club frisbee, intramural basketball, or fifth-string pickup touch football quarterback. There is an urban myth that if Ryan wears his sunglasses inside at night, there will be 500 more days of summer. Fun fact, Ryan was a body double for Joseph in Inception, and has testified that DiCaprio smells like cinnamon.

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A squirrel cost thousands power this morning

Not this one, fortunately. This morning, however, another squirrel did cause an explosion in downtown Providence that knocked out electrical power for as many as 4,450 customers, some of them Brown students. Exactly how a squirrel wreaked this much havoc is unclear, with city officials vaguely explaining that the rodent “caused a problem at the South Street substation.” National Grid quickly restored power throughout most of the city, but not before motorists had to navigate intersections with no traffic lights and workers had to evacuate prominent buildings like the Biltmore and City Hall.

Bleak.

Bleak.

And in case you were concerned: according to WPRI, “there was no immediate word on the fate of the furry-tailed rodent.” For now, however, squirrels better stick to feasting on leftover Ratty to-go boxes and hanging out on bike handles. We off campus students like having wifi.

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Fall foliage 2014: What’s hot, what’s not

Fall in New England is a wonderful season. It brings crisp days, fresh apples, and pumpkin-flavored everything. But most importantly, the leaves are changing color. Fall just isn’t fall without trees bursting into fiery pigments as if trying to outdo each other in exuberance before winter repaints the world with its icy-grey palette. Let’s take a walk around campus to see what’s trending in arboreal fashion this year.

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What you see here is the classic yellow. Though this tree is not being as adventurous as it could be, it certainly gets credit for consistency. Verdict: Warm. I don’t feel like your heart is really in it.

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Trick or (spicy orange) treat! This tree is doing more than just showing off how bright it can be. That sizzling orange just screams Halloween. Trees love to dress up! Verdict: Hotter than toasted pumpkin seeds.

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5 Reasons Your Sims Have A Better Life Than You

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You may or may not know this, but Sims 3 (and a host of expansion packs) is available for download online for $25–a small price to pay to relive the glory days of your youth. The nostalgia alone from the fact that the game takes two hours to load, once opened, is enough to reduce me to tears every time. Nothing makes a late-90s,  early-2000s kid happier than drowning their virtual likeness in their massive pool, and trying to make the Grim Reaper take their unwanted love child instead. But playing The Sims does have its downsides. No matter how similar you make you and your Sim, you will never be able to type “rosebud;:;:” in the upper-left-hand corner of your life and get millions of dollars to buy thousands of genie lamps. Here are the top 5 reasons your Sim’s life is better than yours:

1. Promotions

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Ever wished that instead of a waitress making minimum wage and living for tips, you could be a world famous chef worth millions? According to The Sims, all you have to do is read a cookbook, and wait for your boss to call with your next promotion. Wish that instead of a test subject for other people’s experiments, you could be a top scientist working on curing the latest global epidemic? Easy, play chess with your neighbors one afternoon! You’ll be amazed at how the logic acquired from your game translates directly to your job saving lives with science.

2. Children

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Think $250 a day is too much to pay for a maid? So does your Sim. Luckily, they have an adoption process that requires no paperwork or vetting whatsoever. There are no child education requirements in The Sims world and DCFS basically only shows up if you starve the kid. So why not use your child as your personal housekeeper? No reason. Children can take out the trash, clean up the leftovers from when your Sim “served breakfast,” and even recycle the newspapers that have accumulated on your lawn because the paper boy just can’t take a hint.

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What to do on Parents Weekend, sans parents

I’m not bitter at all, I swear. Really. My parents aren’t coming this weekend and I’m totally fine with that. Like totally. Someone has to watch Millionaire Matchmaker, and Million Dollar Listing, and Mystery Millionaire, and if it’s not going to be my parents, who’s it going to be? They’re heroes, so it’s A-okay with me that they don’t want to drive a whole two hours to see me this weekend. I can have fun anyway. Here’s what to do if your parents don’t love you aren’t coming this Parents’ Weekend:

Go to the a capella/comedy shows

Everyone whose parents think they are worth travelling for (joke! It’s a joke!) will have to be sober for these shows, but you get to be drunk! Lucky you! At improv shows, you can make fun suggestions like, “mama’s boy!”, and “I’m not neurotic!”. You might dwell a little on the possibility that your parents just may have come to see you if you were funny or could sing or had any other talent.

Go out to dinner with your friend’s family

Your friend’s parents are oozing with parental affection and they are ready to cover you in it if you’re in the proximity. Maybe pretend they’re your parents. “Woah, Ms. and Mr. __________, this food sure is good! I’ve been living off of chocolate because I haven’t gone grocery shopping in weeks. See, I’m letting myself go and don’t really see the point anymore.” 

Call home to assert how fine you are

Say things like, “yeah I’m great!”, “Yeah SO busy, good thing you guys didn’t come”, “midterm season, you know? I would barely have any time for you anyway”, and “what? You’re not doing anything? Just hanging around? Sounds fun!”. Consider that your parents might see this article, but then remember that they don’t read BlogDH despite your repeated pleas that they, just, like, check it out. Lots of villains were obsessed with pleasing their parents, like the guy from Inception and the Green Goblin’s son. What a relief that you and your parents are in a really good mental place where you don’t feel inadequate at all, so you won’t become evil. You definitely won’t become evil. People without parents at all turn out great, like Annie and Oliver.

They would have been in Harmo

They would have been in Harmo

Though they could sing.

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