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As I miss my flight and get stranded in Boston head home for the summer, I figured this was a good time for my end-of-the-year-post. Much like Sam did last year, here are life lessons, musings, and observations I’ve acquired (notice orgo is not on the list).

But first, a recap of things worth reiterating from our previous post:

1. Spend as much time as possible outdoors during the four months (give or take) of bearable weather.
3. Balance your Blue Room and Ratty/V-Dub, or you may end up with 0 points and 150 meal credits on April 29th.
17. Do not be ashamed of S/NC.
23. Meet a lot of people during orientation (“meet” is not a euphemism for “hook up with”).
38. Go to random lectures. Otherwise, you’ll never know how interesting the disciplinary battle between literary arts and English truly is (and how a Bakhtin scholar has the authority to make that judgment).

As for me…

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Then + Now

People might know me as… the girl with the bright orange bag; that girl with the loud laugh that carries through quiet spaces; or this semester’s editor-in-chief of BlogDailyHerald.

I never thought the most interesting people I would meet in my senior year would be fresh through the Gates. Freshmen. People who were really just kids; who had never known Fish Co., Liquid, the old Blue Room, or life before pizza-in-a-cone. But they kept me from putting my foot out the door too soon, reminded me how far I had come and how far they had to go before leaving. I have tried to give first-years advice so they can find their own paths without getting discouraged, scared or close-minded. (I’m not a Meiklejohn, but I’ve indulged myself with the title of “Meikle-jen.”) Their outlooks, their fearlessness and their enormous hearts have awed me many times over. As I have tried to teach them what I know, they have taught me so much more. This is dedicated to my first-year biddies — always keep reaching higher and wider, but make sure that whatever your achievements are, they bring a smile to your face. If they don’t, you missed something.
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WHEN WE PUT UP A STUDY BREAK ABOUT A #WHATSHOULDWECALLME SPIN-OFF THAT JUST DESCRIBES WHAT HAPPENS IN A .GIF IN ALL CAPS AND THEN POSTS THE .GIF BELOW.

Flights, on top of flights, on top of flights. Steve Rothstein ’72, an investment banker from New York, purchased an American Airlines AAirpass in 1987 that grants him unlimited flights — whenever, wherever.  According to the NY Post, the Brown alum has tallied a staggering 10 million miles of travel over 10,000 flights; he even occasionally stops by good ole’ Geoff’s for his favorite bologna and Swiss melt (The Bobbi Riggs?) on a whim. Since 1987, Rothstein has flown to England upwards of 500 times, Tokyo 120 times and Australia 70 times. Who doesn’t enjoy airplanes?!

Recently, his AAirpass was revoked due to fraudulent activity; in many cases Rothstein would merely label his second ticket under the name ‘Bag Rothstein.’ How baller is that?  Rothstein has filed an appeal and is currently waiting for a ruling on the case. In the meantime, I hear that the automobile serves as an effective mode of transportation.

Like your grandma, the cultural clusterfuck that is Carly Rae Jepsen’s single “Call Me Maybe” has become worn out, overplayed and just downright old. We didn’t think it could be done, but this British dude managed to give the song a major facelift. A British accent makes everything better. Kudos.

Are finals making you miserable? Do you even remember the last time you cracked a smile? Are you itching to be entertained? If you answered these questions, “Yes. No. YES,” we have good news: The Brown Barrel comedy alliance, a conglomerate of Brown’s comedy groups, has come to your rescue with its hilarious new radio show.

“The Barrel Show,” a new addition to BSR‘s Sunday lineup, features sketches and routines from Brown’s comedy groups and funny conversational interludes between acts. Your hilarious fellow Brunonians will provide some great lolz on lolz on lolz. You can listen to the first three episodes of “The Barrel Show” here. Laughter may be the only medicine that will heal those finals blues, so stop whining and start listening.

Image via.

If you’re getting home after finals by way of the commuter rail anytime soon, keep an eye out for a special rider: a lobster chillin’ in a cooler.

Calvin (but no Hobbes)

They say a leopard can’t change its spots, but a lobster’s might save its life. Calvin the calico lobster was caught in Maine and discovered by a chef in his Cambridge restaurant‘s tank. (Fun fact: Though now a pricey food, lobster meat was seen only as fertilizer, fish bait, or a mark of poverty until the mid-19th century in North American society.) His shell’s spots got him out of a tight spot. Noticed for his strange coloration, Cal was spared being boiled or steamed alive and thrashing… or after having been placed in the freezer or stabbed between the eyes, or dying in some other more humane way, that is, if the chef had been concerned that he could feel and remember pain. Apparently, calico lobsters, 1 in 30 million, are the second rarest type of lobster in terms of color after white, estimated at 1 in 100 million.

The lucky crustacean is currently in quarantine at the New England Aquarium and somewhat of a celebrity. And you know what, lobsters are actually a lot more interesting than you might think if you’re procrastinating on studying for finals. Indeed, “they are tranquil and serious, and they know the secrets of the sea,” according to French poet Gérard de Nerval, who had a pet lobster named Thibault. Like snails and spiders, they have blue copper-rich blood, can flee backwards at up to 11 mph, and don’t show signs of aging(!). This means that, protected from injury, disease, and capture, Calvin might live to like 100 years once he gets to his new home at the Biomes Marine Biology Center in North Kingstown, Rhode Island where he will be displayed for school field trips and other educational purposes. Road trip, anyone?

Then + Now

If my mom were writing this, it would be much shorter: sleep eight hours a night, study hard, be pre-med, go to church every Sunday. She’s reading this right now so I’m going to say that I did all of that (she’s in for a rude awakening when she finds out she’ll be attending the ethnic studies commencement and not neuroscience). And more or less, it worked; here I am in the waning days of my life at Brown.

But as I prepare for Commencement, I’m realizing that all the advice I’ve ever received about “how to graduate” has been about how to get to the point where you’re shaking hands, moving the tassel, and holding the degree. Here are seven things I’ve been thinking about on how to transition into everything it means to not be a student.*

*Disclaimer: I’m not sure these steps are 100% correct. I’m not even sure they’re 10% correct. I’ve never graduated from college (yet).

1) Be incredibly ambitious. Be incredibly active. And be humble.
Back when he still had hair, Steve Jobs once said, “Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you.”

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