Famous Fictional Brown Alums

  1. Josiah Carberry
       

The OG of Brown alums that aren’t quite real. This professor of psychoceramics (the study of cracked pots) has been around since 1929 and in the years since he has been featured in the New York Times, been awarded an Ig Noble Prize (basically the Nobel prize but fake) and is the namesake of Jo’s, the most beloved late-night eatery on campus. He even has his own page on RateMyProfessors.com.

2. Serena van der Woodsen from Gossip Girl

The Gossip Girl protagonist gets into Brown, but we find out in Season Three that she defers to stay in New York. Worst choice ever.

3. Brian Griffin, Family GUY

Turns out everyone’s favorite cynical, liberal cartoon dog went to Brown too. Too bad he dropped out to join the Peace Corps. An activist who fought (intermittently) for various causes, including marriage equality and the legalization of marijuana, Brian would have fit in well on College Hill today.

3. Summer Roberts, the OC

No one expected that this materialistic, shallow high schooler would go to Brown, yet of course upon arrival, she becomes a radical environmental activist. SO Brown. But wait, she tries to free lab rabbits from the science lab and gets suspended for a year. Why are fictional Brown students so troubled?

4. Dr. Elliot Reid, Scrubs

This doctor from Scrubs goes to Brown too and attends a fictional sorority ΩΒΓ (it spells out the first three letters of OB-GYN). But the real question: was she PLME??

5. Julianne Potter, My Best Friend’s Wedding

While at Brown, Julianne made a deal with her friend Michael O’Neal that they would marry each other if they hadn’t found anyone by the time they turned 28. At 27, Julianne learns that her friend will marry a 20-year old University of Chicago student. But we know that real Brown students would never break a marriage pact in favor of someone from the UChicago.

6. Carrie Bradshaw

Candace Bushnell, author of Sex and the City, reveals in her new book, Summer and the City: A Carrie Diaries Novel, that everyone’s favorite fashion-forward New Yorker went to Brown. We’re guessing she did Lit Arts, lived in 257 Thayer, and ate at Den Den every weekend.

7. Emma Watson… oh wait, she’s real

Oh wait, that actually happened. Brown and Hermoine Granger––name a more iconic duo?

8. Bridget Vreeland, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

Here is Blake Lively again, playing a character who also goes to Brown. Suspicious? Is she trying to tell us something, like how she wants to be a Brunonian IRL? Ms. Lively has yet to respond for a comment.

 

 

 


Blue Room Muffins Ranked

Now $2.45 each, Blue Room muffins are likely the reason why students will be running low on points before the end of the semester. Great for breakfast, second breakfast, brunch, breakfast for dinner, dessert, Blue Room muffins come in a variety of flavors, but which one is the best?

Pumpkin

Tis the season. Goes perfectly with any of the many pumpkin spice beverages currently offered by practically all of the dining establishments on Thayer. You can never have too much pumpkin.

Apple Cinnamon

Like a slice of apple pie but in muffin form. Portable. Delicious.

Pistachio

Almost alarmingly green but that’s not important because it’s yummy.

Banana Nut

Nut to muffin ratio could be better but still a pretty solid option. Unless you’re allergic to walnuts. Then please steer clear.

Cornbread

A bit dry but cop some butter from the Ratty to spread on it and then microwave for a warm, sweet and salty treat.

Lemon Poppy Seed

The smell and taste are vaguely reminiscent of Windex or some other cleaning solution but not in a bad way.  

French Toast

Tastes strangely like bananas, which is fine, but I feel a bit lied to?

Double Chocolate

Controversial opinion: too chocolatey. Can something be too sweet? (Yes.)

Blueberry

Can’t not think about that girl from Willy Wonka which really isn’t desirable?

Raisin Bran

Raisins??? Enough said.


Winter Blues

As a southern girl from Charlotte, NC, my first Northeastern winter came as a shock to me last year. I had to buy my first puffy winter coat–and scarves became a necessity, rather than a cute fashion statement.

Back home, school was cancelled if there was even a chance of snow–and if a couple of flakes did fall, they usually melted before the first snowballs were thrown. It rarely gets colder than 30 degrees in Charlotte–so, before coming to Brown, my winter gear consisted of little more than a few sweaters and jackets.

While the first few freezing fall and winter days were a fun novelty for me, I also found that it’s easy to feel blue when you’re used to this being your inclement winter weather (note the Carolina blue skies and light dusting of snow on the ground that cause most North Carolinians to stay off the roads all day):

and instead wake up to this gray, bleak, hideous winter:

But fellow sun-lovers: don’t fret. I’ve found foolproof ways to beat those winter blues.

1. BUY A WINTER COAT

 

 

The coat you wore in the South or West Coast will not cut it here. Take it from a stubborn southerner who thought she could make it the whole winter with her old coat… get a warm af coat, like yesterday.

2. On that note, load up on as much fuzzy shit as you possibly can

 

 

I’m talking blankets, robes, Snuggies, sweatshirts, earmuffs, etc. Then put them all on at once and proceed to be hugged by everyone who passes by you.

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Pet Peeves of an International Student

Being an international student can be hard. You have the usual nonsense of long flights, leaving home, studying abroad, visas and other frustrating documents. But let’s be honest – you have been prepared for all this (somewhat). What you haven’t been prepared for, however, are the smaller (but nonetheless important) things: American lingo, no metric system, weird spellings. And believe me, these can all be a lot harder to handle.

This post catalogues some of my experiences as an international student that you might (or might not) relate to. Either way, I hope you’ll be left amused.

1. (Not so) fun CS projects.

My state of mind, courtesy of CS15.

Before coming to Brown, I though taking a CS course might be fun. I was wrong. CS15 did not involve fun. It involved struggles. It involved long TA lines. It involved relocating from my dorm to the CIT. One particular assignment, namely Litebrite, involved a fair amount of frustration. I remember how for the longest time, my code for this project simply refused to compile. I spent ages – hours, days – (it felt like years) – trying to figure out what I had done wrong. Frustration levels peaked when I realised my ‘error’ was spelling “colour” with a “u”, when it had been spelt without a ‘u’ in the support code.

Side note: CS15 was dropped soon after. (On the bright side, I did earn practically 10 hours of my time back. Per day.)

Worries of the past.

2. Awkward Conversations Ft. American Lingo:

i) Scenes at Best-Buy:

Me: “Hi, I’m looking for a torch.”

Salesman:“A what?”

Me: “A torch.”

 

Salesman: “Sorry?”

*exchange continues for a good 30 seconds*

Salesman: “Ohhh, you mean a flashlight…”

What Best-Buy salesman thinks I want vs. what I actually want.

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Dining Halls, an Official Ranking (and Not At All a Completely Biased List I Made Up)

BREAKFAST:

Weekdays: Ratty or V-dub (because you don’t have much of an option)

Andrews doesn’t open until lunch, and the Blue Room will drain all of your points, so your best bet for weekday breakfast is either the Ratty or the V-dub.

Both have omelets made-to-order, cereal, fruit, and all the other breakfast essentials. But even though the waffle maker at the V-dub is way underrated, who really has the time to walk all the way to North campus before morning classes? Plus, for some reason, the Ratty’s coffee is much superior to the V-dub’s.

 

Weekends: ANDREWS! (or Blue Room)

Nothing beats Andrews Commons brunch so please don’t try to fight me on this. The granola bowls make you feel like a beacon of health, even though we both know you poisoned your body the night before–and the breakfast burritos are so worth the line. You can put TATER TOTS in your breakfast burritos. What more could a hungover college student ask for?

But if you’re not feelin’ the walk over to Pembroke or don’t want to wait until 11 for breakfast at Andrews to open, Blue Room muffins are always a good call–plus the weekend is the only time you can use meal credits there, so you might as well take advantage. Blue Room also has way better coffee than Andrews.

LUNCH:

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Still Spooky, a Halloween Playlist for a Post-Halloween World

Halloween is over now, but the Halloween spirit lives on. Like many of you out there, my spirits dip during the interlude between October (month of Halloween) and December (month of Christmas) – November is a trash month and everyone knows it. Thanksgiving, as great as it is, simply doesn’t carry the same cultural clout as Halloween and Christmas.

There are few Thanksgiving songs, and none of them are noteworthy enough that you could think of one without having to Google “thanksgiving songs”. There aren’t really Thanksgiving decorations, either (unless you’re a Thanksgiving fanatic and/or a middle-aged suburban parent). Thanksgiving doesn’t have the power to reinvigorate me during the long month of November, fraught with midterms and inconsistent weather as it is.

But Halloween can live on until Thanksgiving to make up for that. In my book, the spirit of Halloween persists until Thanksgiving, and then everything after Thanksgiving is Christmas.

In order to keep the Halloween vibe alive for this next month, I’ve made a playlist of songs which (at least to me) embody Halloween’s spirit. Though many are Halloween themed, not all of them are. Many of the songs are just songs with deep voices, spooky noises, and thrilling guitars. Enjoy, and stay spooky.