Winners and Bad News Bears, sort of

Remember the Seinfeld episode where Jerry always breaks even? Yeah, this was that week for Brown sports. See for yourself below if you don’t believe me. Hence, there are no Winners and no Bad News Bears this week. There is only a vague sliding scale of quality that exists only in my head. Deal with it.

Continued after the jump.

Women’s golf: 5th out of 13 teams at the Yale Invitational. Yep, this is the best thing that happened all week. On the downside, Harvard, Penn and Yale all topped the Bears, although they did beat Dartmouth. But Sarah Guarascio ’11 shot a 157 over two rounds to finish 18th. That’s something, right?

Men’s tennis: Three players competed at the USTA Collegiate Invitational. Kendrick Au ’11 and Charlie Posner ’11 finished second in the No. 1 doubles flight.

Women’s tennis: Hosted the Brown Invitational. Ten teams came, Bianca Aboubakare ’11 and Cassandra Herzberg ’12 went 3-0 in doubles action, but did anything really happen? It’s not like there was tournament play with champions. Individual tennis invitationals stink. Bring on team play in February.

Men’s water polo: went 2-1, a result I can actually quantify. The Bears beat MIT, 6-5, and Fordham, 11-9, before falling to St. Francis, 12-5. Svetozar Stefanovic ’13 was named the CWPA Northern Division Player of the Week, marking the fourth straight week he’s won an award.

Men’s soccer: tied two games, the ultimate epitome of this week. It seems like a long trip to go to California just to get a pair of 1-1, double-overtime ties against Santa Clara and San Francisco. Aren’t there teams around here that they can tie? On the other hand, they did jump two spots to No. 23 in the country on the strength of two ties. Only in soccer.

Volleyball: went 1-1 at the Bryant Invitational. After sweeping Howard University (the Bison? Seriously?), 3-0, the Bears lost in five sets to Bryant. You might call them our intrastate rival, but I say, nuts to that, they were in Division II two years ago. We should own them. But at least the volleyball team didn’t drop an Ivy League game.

Women’s soccer: went 1-1. After blanking Army, 1-0, the Bears got a dose of reality from Dartmouth in the form of a 3-1 loss. No joke here.

Field hockey: went 1-1. After a midweek 3-2 victory over Sacred Heart, the Big Green romped on Saturday by an 8-3 score. It wasn’t pretty, and it may not be getting better. I’ll sneak preview next week’s Bad News Bears for you. Field hockey lost on Tuesday to Fairfield, 2-1, getting outshot by the (Lady) Stags by a 29-11 margin. Ouch.

Football: lost to Harvard, 24-21. While it doesn’t seem fair to place them last for coming up three points short to their biggest rival (try telling the Crimson that) on the road, they’re also the only team that didn’t break even in some way. Them’s the breaks.

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