Due to an error, this week’s Post- will be coming out tomorrow instead of today. Our bad; we know you’re completely devastated. To get you through, here’s a sneak peek of this week’s editors’ ten, and don’t forget to pick up your favorite arts and culture insert on newsstands tomorrow.

1. Aaron Burr Shoots a Guy (Put the Vice in VP).

2. George Washington Contracts Syphilis, Like a Boss.

3. William Howard Taft Gets Stuck in a Tub, 332 Pounds.

4. George H. W. Bush Throws Up on the Japanese Prime Minister.

5. George W. Bush Cops a Feel of the German Prime Minister, Angela Merkel. Total Babe.

6. Lyndon Baines Whips Out His Johnson in Response to Reporter’s Question: Why are we in Vietnam? “This Is Why.”

7. Clinton Disproves Freud’s Assertion that“Sometimes a Cigar Is Just a Cigar.”

8. John F. Kennedy Buys 10,000 of Havana’s Finest Cigars, Enacts Embargo on Cuba.

9. Ulysses S. Grant Arrested for Riding His Horse Too Fast.

10. Teddy Roosevelt Makes Football Girlier.