1. Shrink Katherine Bergeron’s “bedazzle my cape” fund.
2. Downgrade the CIT’s furnished atrium from MTC Cribs-worthy to semi-luxyry.
3. Hey, let’s give List to RISD.
4. Stop funding the Indy. Lord knows they need the controversy.
5. Ruth Simmons could share some of her monies.
6. Bake(d!!) sale.
7. Fire three deans. give Alice a raise.
8. Replace omelet line with umlaut line. Bëëf Tips: It’s what’s for dinner.
9. Cut Safewalk; walk dangerously.
10. Get rid of DPS Segways, replace them with pogo sticks.
For even more snark, check out today’s Post-!