Best of Brown Online (BoBO!)

We’re going to try to start a new feature with the top 10 Spotted at Brown and BrownFML posts of the week. We read them so you don’t have to?

This is based on how many thumbs up/checks posts get; with occasional overrides by the official Herald BoB committee. Since this is the inaugural post, the posts are going back a bit more than a week.

BrownFML

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In order by date:

1.) Last night, I returned to my room late to find the door unlocked. My roommate groaned and said from under the pillow, ‘look, take his laptop if you want, just don’t piss on the floor.’ FML

I admit, I would pull a similar stunt (just kidding, roomie with a triple black belt).

2.) The girl on the elliptical next to me today alternated between singing and farting the entire time. FML

This got +64. I’ve never ventured into a room with ellipticals, but I imagine this would be pretty unfortunate.

3.) Orgo prof is actually pretty funny. MLIMarginallyLessHellish

Mine wasn’t. FML a year ago?

4.) You’re all she’s ever wanted. She tells you that repeatedly. You let your guard down, and get friendzoned. Rinse, wash, repeat. FML

Ouch. Sounds like a catchy 90s song to me. On a bit of a tangent, one word that should gain more traction is URST… it basically defines Spotted at Brown.

5.) Last week I got offered an internship with Amazon. I was so happy I couldn’t stop smiling!
Today I got a 3 line email from a recruiter saying “We inadvertently sent you the wrong notification. We apologize for any inconvenience”
My dad had said he was proud of me for the 1st time I remember. FML

6.) Went to class, thinking of an excuse as to why I didn’t write my paper. Found out that we had no paper, prompting a flashback of me, waking up from sleeping at my desk, jotting things down on my schedule. My “dream paper” made its way inconspiculously into my reality. FML

7.)Today I received the $150 that I won at a math competition.

I’ve decided to use it to buy 25 boxes of Honey Bunches of Oats, because I don’t think the Ratty is ever going to bring them back. MLIFinallyGAgain

It’s time to convert to Smart Start.

8.) I got my first test score back for Orgo. FML

There appears to be an orgo theme.

9.) On my way to class today I walked in front of a car at a stop sign. They honked at me so I immediately started to flip the guy off, only to realize the guy inside was waving hi to me. It was the professor I was going to ask to write my grad school recommendation letters. FML

+91. Enough said.

10.) Tonight, I got high and watched male figure skating with my roommate on IPTV. MLIG.

Fun story: Evan Lysacek (Gold medal winner) dated Tanith Belbin (an ice dancer on Team USA) back in the day. They broke up. Johnny Weir (his opponent; who was robbed and is generally amazing) roomed with Tanith in Vancouver. Ouch. Now, there are rumors that Lysacek is dating Nastia Liukin (gold medal gymnast who sported a Before-Snooki poof). Lysacek is trying to become an actor, I don’t see it happening. Maybe he could channel his fame into a future as a Bruce Jenner-esque character in 40 years.

SPOTTED AT BROWN

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Spotters were drinking the haterade this week. The site appears to be dominated by spirited discussion about how germs are spread and proper zero decibel etiquette. It was not very promising. I don’t know if I can make 10.

1.) I spotted you … germaphobes on spottedatbrown. Your posts are getting really boring. Could you maybe start a separate forum for anonymously commenting on other people’s hygiene? The rest of us would really rather focus on remembering if we wore blue to orgo yesterday, and getting a job as the cashier at lil joes than whether or not your roommate washed her hands after she peed.

Word.

2.) I spotted you … MGMT, Wale, Black Keys, and Snoop Dogg, coming to Spring Weekend

3.) I spotted you … Brown students who use websites to express sexual or romantic interest in others rather than just TELLING people that you’re all about them! Just get it out there already! Liberate yourself.

There was an excellent Herald article about P&M a few weeks ago.

4.) I spotted you … 160 pound, five foot 8 girl, you’re the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. And it make me feel sad that you don’t feel the same way about yourself.

in reply to: I spotted you … skinny hipster girls with your impeccable style and perfect thin, petite bodies. It makes me look at myself in the mirror and want to be thinner like you. I vouched never to come to this point, the point of having such bad self-image, and I thought I never would in such an accepting school like Brown. But the undeniable truth is that at 160 pounds, five foot 8, I feel fat.

5.) I spotted you … denizens of Brown, engaging in yet another weekend of drunken hookups. Does anyone else find this dress up-mess around- never talk again thing draining?

I guess the “Drunk-Boy-Meets-Drunk-Girl.-They-Hook-Up-and-Never-Talk-Again” story doesn’t get a lot of discussion.

6.) I spotted you … the two of you, locking arms and spinning around outside of Jo’s last night. I was having an awful night, but you two made it a little bit better. Thanks!

7.) I spotted you … nearly every day this week. We see each other regularly, and while I suspect it doesn’t mean much to you to see me, the prospect of seeing you is what gets me through each day and each week, though I know its clichéd to say so. You are incredibly beautiful and always so kind to me, without any special reason to be so. Thank you so very much.

This was a pretty bad Spotted at Brown week overall, but this one should thaw the iciest heart. A Missed Connections traditionalist may complain that this post doesn’t have enough identifying details but the Herald BoB committee looks favorably upon the universality of this Spotter’s message.

8.) I spotted you … in your too-tight skinny jeans and your grandma sweater; with your converse/keds sneakers and your unkempt face; drinking coffee out of jars and riding your fixed gear. WHERE DO ALL THESE HIPSTERS COME FROM?

The eternal question.

9.) I spotted you … smoking-hot newly-single half-asian male-swimmer. yes i’m talking about you sir. i’d love to see what’s in that little speedo of yours. good luck at ivy’s 😉

I skipped about 10 posts involving said swimmer. He appears to be very popular among the SpottedatBrown set.

10.) Most of the other high scoring ones are filled with haterade. Read them if you wish.

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