1. Sign all release forms handed to you by cameramen.
2. Don’t drink and drive, smoke and fly.
3. Have sex on the beach. And maybe a cocktail.
4. Drink with your parents; realize they are racist.
5. Explain to your mom that the bulbous red mark on your neck is from paintball. With the boys. Not a hickey.
6. Berge watchin’. In Cabo. Bikini Edition.
7. Reunite with Kiwi friends. Awkwardly make excuses for why our darling editor Allison Zimmer hasn’t called back.
8. Get arrested. Make sungalsses out of lit cigarettes. “Once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger.” The f*ck, Lady Gaga?
9. Beg MTV to meet you at the beach even though Spring Break is over for everyone but Brown. Have an exec tell you it sounds too douchey.
10. Say woo! whenever possible.
For more LOLZ check out today’s Post-, available anywhere fine newspapers are sold given away