The Jihad of McWorld: Trenta, please
“Supersize it!” The familiar cry of the fast-food-craved college student acts as an ever-present reminder of the constantly expanding get-it-now-get-it-huge industry of meals on the go. Scavenging to procure the most subsistence for her hard-earned dollars, which, needless to say, come few and far between, the undergraduate’s one reliable ally seems only to be the ever increasing volume-to-dollar ratio of food in America.
And then it spread to coffee. More specifically, Starbucks. The national chain is test-marketing a new size, “Trenta,” in Tampa and Phoenix. The Trenta, descriptively named for the Italian word for thirty, represents a new era of coffee drinking. No longer do we Starbucks-addicts sip politely on our tall (which, according to our barista friends, is Italian for “small”) mocha cappuccinos. We need our caffeine and we need it in quantities unimaginable by our lightweight predecessors. During 9 AM Cog Sci, it’s not enough to simply be swimming in the caffeinated liquid. We must be drowning in our coffee, for each sip makes last night’s trip to Fish Co. somewhat less regrettable.
And so, Starbucks, we speak to you from our humble New England home. Bring the Trenta to Providence! Thirty ounces of coffee? No problem! That’s just the morning’s demitasse: bring us 40, bring us 50, for we will never get enough of that tasty, warm goodness.