Brown A-Z (Part II): The Gate to The OSL!

Bears can dress up too yo...

Todays installment of Brown A-Z features some more useful tidbits of information for those of amongst us who are new to the PVD.  On the food front we have The Gate (essential for Pembrookites), Jo’s (essential for Perkinites), Loui’s (essential for every person on this campus), and the super delicious Magic Bars at the Ratty.  Today’s list also features Lincoln Field, the site of the September 18th Big Boi extravaganza.  Enjoy!

Gate, The: The couch-infested rec room of Pembroke Campus. Simply decent pizza becomes stellar when you can buy it with meal credit instead of actual money.

GCB: The Graduate Center Bar, an actual bar buried in the basement of Grad Center. A good place to go on a weeknight to split a pitcher of beer and a game of pool. It’s $30 to become a member, but if you’re an illegal young’un you’ll have to stick to Fish Co. — they actually ID.

Graduate Center: Grad Center has all the charm of a sterile, riot-proof bunker — but without the sterility. Home to many of Brown’s sophomores, this five-building abomination has been plaguing the campus aesthetic since it was constructed, or by some accounts, assembled from Lincoln Logs. The only valuable thing about this structure is the land it is currently devaluing.

E. Gordon Gee Lavatory Complex: For the past four Spring Weekends, a sign has graced a bunch of Port-a-Potties to commemorate Brown’s shortest-tenured president. It is the only thing named after him on campus. Ever.

Hutchings-Votey Organ: Located in Sayles, it’s the largest one in the world! We suspect there aren’t many H-V organs in the world.

IMP: 1. International Mentoring Program to help first-year international students adjust to studying and living in the United States. 2. The wee folk who work long into the night in the bowels of the Ratty to make us delicious “magic bars.” (See magic bars)

Inside Brown: The University’s equivalent of your grandmother’s Christmas newsletter.

IPTV: We can watch TV on our computers now. But we can still complain that there are too few channels. It’ll replace regular cable someday.

Jo’s: Technically “Josiah’s,” the snack bar of choice for residents south of the Main Green. Located on the ground floor of New Dorm A, it’s the home of wraps, snacks, and fried foods — especially the Carberry. Mmmmm.

John Hay Library, The: One of those very collegiate libraries in which you feel like you shouldn’t touch anything. But it’s really nice inside. The Hay has many rare collections and is home to the University Archives, for you Brown history buffs.

Kennedy Jr., John Fitzgerald ’83: We’re glad he broke the family trend of Harvard attendance. Yes, he kept a pig in his dorm.

Lincoln Field: The green between Sayles and Thayer Street. The upper section is perfect for studying, while the lower part is often the site of football and Frisbee games.

LiSci: The glass and steel behemoth between main campus and Pembroke Campus, formally known as the Sidney E. Frank Hall for the Life Sciences. The logical extension of The Walk runs through it.

Loui’s: A Brook Street restaurant you will inevitably discover at 5 a.m., and hopefully you’ll remember it, too. Try the grilled muffins.

Magaziner, Ira ’69 P’06 P’07 P’10: The New Curriculum was his brainchild while he was an undergraduate. Now he’s the mastermind behind the Clinton Foundation.

Magic bars: One of the few delicious desserts at the Ratty. No, they don’t have weed in them. But they do have coconut, chocolate, graham cracker, and probably enough trans fats to kill a small animal. Tasty.

Main Green: If you haven’t figured out what this is, go home.

Manning Walk: The beautiful walkway from Soldier’s Arch through Sciences Park up to Barus and Holley. (See Sciences Park)

Meiklejohn: Pronounced like “nickel-john,” but with an “M.” Alexander Meiklejohn was a professor of philosophy. Meiklejohns are now the upper class counselors who dish straight truth about anything you need to know about academics at Brown.

MCM: The Department of Modern Culture and Media. Also the kickball roster for the College Hill ‘Dependent and the site of many a pretentious discussion of Godard.

Mocha: After the advent of Banner, the smarties over in CompSci created their own, much more user-friendly scheduling site. Using it during registration will make your life infinitely easier.

MPC: Minority Peer Counselor. The counselors who are specially trained to advise first-year students on minority issues.

Naked Doughnut Run: On the last night of reading period, dedicated scholars in the Rock and the Sci Li get a special treat: doughnuts! Made doubly delicious by the awkward nudes that hand them to you.

New Curriculum: This is what allows you take whatever classes you want, and what allows you potentially to have zero grades when you graduate. It’s 40 years old, but we still call it new. Go figure. (See New Dorm.)

New Dorm: Not so new anymore, the former Thayer Street quad is officially called Vartan Gregorian Quad…but don’t call it that. The two buildings contain upperclassmen suites, often coveted living space for juniors. Building A is home to Jo’s, a campus snack bar, and the Donald L. Saunders ’57 Family Inn at Brown.

New Pembroke: Allegedly built in 1970 by a disgruntled Brown student with a vendetta against the university and a penchant for riot-proofing. It’s all a concrete jungle except for the metallic pipe bear face viewed most clearly from the terrace of NP1. Residents of “da Broke” will also be privileged to the ups (CVS and East Side Pockets) and downs (drag racing motorbikes and screaming drunks) of living on Thayer Street. A 24-hour study space opened a couple years ago, making NP life just a little more tolerable.

9 a.m.: Too early for class. Don’t even ask about AB hour.

OMAC: Olney-Margolies Athletic Center. Your high school gym had more and better equipment, but the satellite gyms in Keeney, Emery halls and Grad Center will ease the crunch of overgrown athletes keeping you off machines in the OMAC.

Orientation: Used to be a week. Is now shorter or much longer, depending on how you look at. Enjoy this while it lasts. Being overscheduled will never be this relaxing again.

Orwig: Underused but beautiful music library; only open until 10 p.m.

OSL: The Office of Student Life bills itself as a “talented and compassionate group of professionals deeply committed to programs and services which support the education of Brown students.” Do not be fooled. When not actively trying to destroy beloved programs (residential counseling, BOLT), OSL runs its own version of Orwell’s “Room 101,” also known as the disciplinary system. Fortunately, regime change begins at home, and after the top-to-bottom staff changes of a couple years ago, students can hopefully look forward to an Office of Student Life that’s a little more student-friendly.

3 Comments

  1. Brown '08

    For the record, the EGGLC celebrated its fourth year last year 🙂

  2. Matt Klimerman (Author)

    Our mistake. Fixed it right up.

  3. Sax Russell

    Isn’t the Daily Jolt defunct?

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