Yes, Facebook’s 26 year-old founder Mark Zuckerberg already has a movie coming out about his life…and yes, it’s directed by the guy who brought us Fight Club…and yes, the Kanye West-infused trailer is the best trailer-music match since “Wake Up” and Where the Wild Things Are—but all of this cannot change the simple truth: I am a lowly freshman and my Facebook is my temple.
The first week at Brown University has brought an inevitable landslide of Facebook activity ranging from event invitations, friend requests (little confidence boosters in the form of a little red number) and tags (little confidence boosters in the form of digital photos). With all the social networking going on, here are five tips for freshman looking for a way to work through it all:
- I know you thought you were too cool to request friends in high school, but if that special someone from Fish Co means enough to you, you can swallow your pride and hit that “Add as Friend” button.
- If being part of the Brown network doesn’t fit in line with your unique image, prepare yourself for friend request confusion. If being on Facebook doesn’t fit in line with your unique image, I applaud you; you are a better human being than I.
- I’m sure your eurotrip was fun, but I’m certain if I see one more profile picture featuring a European landmark I’m going to call Gru from Despicable Me (did anybody actually see that? If so, facebook me about it). Bottom Line: diversity in profile pictures is welcome.
- Status updates are not for letting your friends know how you just did your “first _______” ever at college.
- Keep tabs on your friends at other schools. Post on your best friend’s wall to let all the kids at Duke know about his scoop neck phase in 10th grade, thus ruining his chances of pledging the Bro Chay Polo house. You can also remind him that your school is better than his.
A Few First Week Freshman Facebook Statuses:
- Tucker Carlson was right, college does make you more liberal
- College is tight. But I’m NEVER DJing a party with my studio monitors EVER again. LOL
- who decided i need to take classes in college. this is bullsh*t
- Fishco + Donettes = Wake up on my floor