No more Serena, some other fictional Brunonians

Unable to part with the "Met Steps," Serena picked Columbia (Photo c/o The CW)

As Anne has already noted, Serena van der Woodsen has opted to attend Columbia over Brown following a melodramatic gap year and clichéd summer in Paris. This comes as welcome news because now I have zero reasons to watch a show that has jumped at least 12 proverbial sharks since the end of season two. In response to Serena’s decision to abandon our beloved school, I offer a few fictional Brown attendees from the pop culture realm after the jump:

  • Summer Roberts: like Gossip Girl, The O.C. got ridiculous toward the end of its run when vapid, seemingly unintelligent Summer (Rachel Bilson) got into Brown over her nerdy, hipster-in-training boyfriend Seth (Adam Brody)
  • Brian Griffin: in episode 4.15, Brian returns to Brown in an attempt to fulfill his final credit toward graduation after being fired from The New Yorker for not having a degree. The alcoholic dog ultimately fails his exam after deciding not to cheat, but we should still be proud of him for his virtue
  • Elliot Reid: when her sorority sister Melody O’Hara (Kerri Russell) visits Sacred Heart we get an indirect confirmation that Elliot did, in fact, attend Brown. Sorority sisters, huh? With only two on campus I wonder which one they were in…
  • Eileen Stevens: the mom from the best Disney Channel Original Series of all time attended Brown and led a successful career in state politics (also notable for helping Donna Pescow attain relevance for the first time since Saturday Night Fever)
  • Clippy: remember that really annoying paperclip Office Assistant from Microsoft Office? Supposedly he had a degree in art-semiotics from Brown, but that doesn’t pardon him from being Microsoft’s most annoying pre-Vista innovation

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