As if the sweatshirts weren’t ugly enough…
It can be hard, nowadays, to find a simple article of clothing that lets you show your school pride and politely informs others that you are, in fact, a grandiloquent, authentic Ivy Leaguer. Everyone and their mother owns that costly Brown sweatshirt. (This blogger has even seen his own mother sport matching Brown sweatpants, sweatshirt, and hat, which was painful to say the least.) Even the simple college t-shirt is no longer a reliable indicator of matriculation. However, fret no more. This year, New Balance is releasing a collection of Ivy League-inspired “hiker-sneaker fusion” shoes.
By sporting these kicks that have your school’s respective crest on the tongue and (somewhat) corresponding colors, what better way is there to say, “Hey, I go to this prestigious institution and have the proper footwear to prove it.”
Unfortunately, not all of the Ivies made the cut. Yale, oddly, was left out, as was Cornell, much to the wrath of Andy Bernard. Perhaps this is a blessing for those two universities, as the collection itself is nothing short of frumpy.
While Harvard’s and Brown’s shoes only differ by a shade of red, Princeton’s is a nauseating beige and Dartmouth’s is mysteriously black. The laces of Columbia’s at least somewhat resemble their institution’s beloved baby blue while Penn’s are a drab gray with a colorful tongue.
There is no telling whether this collection is doomed for failure, or whether these shoes will be widely worn, even if mockingly.