Coachella; or, Who Will Perform on Spring Weekend

Coachella: the only thing California has going for it these days / Coachella.com

A few weeks ago, the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival announced its extensive lineup. The annual event generally drives east coast undergrads to curse their empty bank account, beg their parents for money and, after the begging fails, ever so briefly wish they had attended a Claremont College. This year’s lineup is of particular interest to Brown students, because Coachella happens to coincide with our beloved Spring Weekend (April 15-17). What does this mean for us? The festival, notable for filling its stages with great headliners in addition to “lower profile” artists, has swiped up a significant proportion of the hippest and most desirable acts in the business. While megastars like Kanye West and Kings of Leon are no surprise, Coachella has also jumped on recent fads such as “weird rap” (Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All and Lil’ B) and “live”-electronic-stage-extravaganzas (Bloody Beetroots, Magnetic Man and Crystal Castles). See some artists Coachella didn’t get its filthy paws on after the jump.

Starfucker (STRFKR): surprisingly not on Coachella’s radar, this indie electropop group, which resembles a cross between Passion Pit and MGMT (pre-Congratulations), has an album coming out at the end of February and will probably still be looking to promote it on our hip college campus in April. Their live show features cross dressing, catchy hooks and, pardon the cliché, infectious dance beats that are perfect for trampling the green out of the Main Green. “Bury Us Alive,” their most recent single from the upcoming album Reptilians, is available for free download at Polyvinyl.

Kid Cudi: every other college in America has had him perform, we might as well join the club…as long as he agrees to play no songs from his new album.

LCD Soundsystem: last year’s This is Happening was supposedly James Murphy’s last release for the project, which features him performing nearly every instrument on the album and subsequently touring with a full band. Rumor has it, they put on a pretty good show. Touting a repertoire of Pitchfork-worthy indie rock/dance music, Murphy might not be Daft Punk, but he’d surely have hordes of Brown students bobbing their heads and fondly remembering 2005.

Hootie and the Blowfish: according to Wikipedia, they’ve been “semi-active” since 2008. Despite this vague status, BCA could potentially convince them to get together for Spring Weekend because the band would only have to play three songs: “Only Wanna Be With You,” “Let Her Cry,” and that other one. A short set for sure, but it could be very satisfying for us children of the 90s.

Rusko: this UK-born dubstep artist has become something of a sensation in the past year, releasing a full-length album and bringing the biggest bass imaginable to several notable festivals and raves in the US. Even though Diplo dropped one of his tracks to a mixed reaction last Spring Weekend, the genre’s pervaded American music enough (see Britney Spears’ new single) for him to be a viable candidate.

Lastly, the perfect fantasy (as opposed to a beautiful dark twisted one): Dr. Dre performing his magnum opus, 2001, in its entirety with every featured artist (Xzibit, Eminem and Snoop Dogg, among others). This seems absolutely impossible for several reasons, but, in fact, none of these artists are on the bill for Coachella…

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