Sexction: The 10 Best Places on Campus to Have Sex (and be CAUGHT)

Sick of the Sci Li?  Take your chances with these dare devil locations.

10. Sayles Organ Balcony: Overlook Sayles Hall from dangerous heights to heighten your sexual experience.  If Midnight Organ Concerts aren’t your thing, try this at midnight (or even midday).

9. Shower on the First Floor of JWW: If your dorm is out of hot water and the package pickup line is too long, grab your biddy and pop in for a quick rinse.  Be willing to drop the soap.

8. OMAC Pool: Take a wet ride.  And if you’re lucky, who knows, maybe the water polo team will walk in and want to join.  I hear one of them is Serbian.

7. Quiet Green: Let your moans turn the Quiet Green into the Riot Green.  If an Egyptian battle can be reenacted in the grass, there is no reason you cannot be a little crass.

6. Orwig “Refrigerator” Practice Rooms: Play chopsticks with your ass, while you make a little sweet music together.  Maybe Clarinet Charlie will walk by and make your duet a trio.  

5. Absolute Quiet Room: Rock everyone’s world with a quick study break.  See if you can keep things completely silent.  Regardless, everyone will be peeking at you through their hipster glasses.

4. Pool Table in the Bears Lair: Get a work out of your own in the Game Room.  But remember sex isn’t a game; it’s a full time job.

3. Orgo Problem Session: Sick of Alkanes and Carbon chains?  Start making your own bond with the person next to you.  But keep your ion the ball; you never know which question could be on the next exam.  But don’t expect anyone to notice.  This is a room of pre-meds; they don’t fuck around (literally).

2. Your RC’s Room: Sick of random emails about Sex Jeopardy and DPS Meet and Greets?  Stick it to your RC by sticking it to someone in their room.

1. The Glass Room overlooking the Faunce Archway: If there is a more public display of affection I haven’t thought of it.  Steam up that transparent box and don’t be afraid to press against the glass.  We will all be watching!

Until next week’s Sexction,

C. Lit Student.

1 Comment

  1. over9000

    hilarious! looking forward to more from you, c. lit.

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