Web Civ: Sinned lately? There’s an app for that. (And six other fun but completely useless App Store finds.)

Too lazy for confession? Don’t have time to waddle through the melting snow to pour your heart to a priest through an iron gate? Just too ashamed to do even that? Well, Steve Jobs is here to make your life just a bit easier.

LittleiApps has released the new Confession: A Roman Catholic App— a personalized, Catholic Church-approved application for your iPhone that includes a step-by-step guide to the sacrament to help you lament for all of last semester’s Fish Co. experiences. But don’t think you’ll get the nod from the Big Guy Upstairs just by jotting down your indiscretions on your iPhone. This app is meant to be used during Confession, not as a replacement. So if you think you could get away with not facing a priest and sitting in the confessional drowning in embarrassment… Sorry. Not even Steve Jobs can help you there.

Here are a few other interesting App Store finds. Usefulness factor: -32. Pointless fun factor: 10 out of 10.

  1. GodFinger: A game in which you are God, and you get to create your own world of rainbows and hippies, then terrify the citizens with the touch of your finger.
  2. Talking Bacteria: Have you ever wanted to talk to infectious diseases? Now’s your chance. You can tickle them, you can feed them, you can inject them with a syringe. The power is yours.
  3. Best Yo’ Mamma Jokes of All Time: always relevant, now just conveniently on your phone.
  4. Hipster Holiday!: Holidays too mainstream? Planning a move to Brooklyn soon? Holiday Hipster will decide if you’re authentically ironic, or just a poser.
  5. Freakish Animals: Want to make your friend scream out in horror in the middle of a lecture? Then this app is for you! Learn about the weirdest, scariest, and even most disgusting animals on this planet. Viewer discretion is advised.
  6. Bacon Finder: Every meat-lover loves bacon! So if you’ve ever been stuck in Nowhereville, USA, but had an intense craving for the fried delicacy… your prayers have been answered.

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