Sexction: My boyfriend is a nympho and he wants me to be his ho!

So my friend, Wet Wendy, had what we all thought to be the perfect boyfriend, Horny Henry. Charming boy. Albeit, he was not the most attractive guy, but he brought her coffee or breakfast almost every morning – convenient, am I right? They hardly ever fight. They both only wear J. Crew – a good old-fashioned country club couple.

At the beginning of their relationship they were in the honeymoon stage. You might have seen them, the king and queen of PDA. They spent every minute together. He treated her like a princess and Wendy constantly had that post sex glow. It turned out that what held their relationship together was tons and tons of sex; and I’m not talking quickies. Long battles between the sheets, and they weren’t done until both of them had won…

At first I was jealous, but that jealousy quickly turned into concern. Wendy could hardly walk. It was two or three good hard battles a day (and more on weekends). I began to worry when she started singing along to Jordin Sparks with her own lyrics: “Why does my vagina always feel like a battlefield?” Wendy assured me that they were just really frisky because the two had just gotten together, but, as the weeks passed by, things took a turn for the worse.

As their relationship continued, Henry’s desire for sex grew stronger. It became clear that she was becoming his jack-off machine. First, I recommended that Wendy get some lube. Lube always does the trick. That held her for a little while, but soon she needed a break. It looked like she had a Tiger Woods on her hands.

Eventually, she told him that her vag needed a time out. He understood, but he stopped bringing her things and walking her to class.  He only wanted to see her if there was going to be sex involved.  Wendy said he was a magician with his hands, but I assume that was because he had practiced so much on his own.  I tried to convince Wendy that it wasn’t worth it, but she missed Henry and their dates.

She decided to go back to the battlefield in hopes that Henry would get back on the boyfriend bandwagon.  So the sex started up again in full force, but the gifts and special treatment didn’t.  Wendy felt like a whore – she was a more attractive version of a blow up doll.  Eventually, after many long talks and several UTIs, Wendy ditched Henry and put herself back on the market.  She realized that the great sex wasn’t worth it.

But what made Henry like this?  Did he only like Wendy for the sex or was he really a nymphomaniac?  And more importantly do sex addicts really exist or are they just horny people with a lot of stamina?

I decided to do some research.  It turns out that hypersexuality (or sex addiction) isn’t a diagnosable psychological disorder, but many psychologists believe that it does exist.  It is classified as an intensely unusual physical and psychological need to have sex.  I like to think of it as OCD, but your compulsion is to always have sex.  Most people that suffer from sex addiction have unusually large sex drives which interfere with their abilities to lead “normal” lives.

The majority of people with full-fledged sex addiction masturbate regularly, have sex with unknown partners, live off of porn, and participate in phone sex and prostitution.  And if they are in a relationship they are likely to have many, many affairs.  So basically Tiger Woods on a porn-covered silver platter.

Studies show that most people with hypersexuality live in denial of their disorder and end up participating in unsafe and risky sexual behavior.  They wind up with STDs and broken lives.  They live for sex and nothing else.  Sex addiction is a real problem for those who suffer from the disease, and, unfortunately, there haven’t been any real breakthroughs in learning how to live with it.  There is Sex Addicts anonymous, a 12-step program designed around controlling these behaviors and working on creating a healthy sex life.  In extreme cases, people suffering from hypersexuality have been known to take OCD medication.  But like most addicts, sex addicts find it hard to control their impulses.

Now, I don’t think Henry goes to anonymous sex clubs. However, it does sound like he has an unusually large sex drive.  Let’s just hope Henry gets a hold of his penis (and not in the sexual way), because, if he doesn’t, he could be facing the slippery slope of sex addiction.

Until Next Sexction,

C. Lit Student

3 Comments

  1. Spellcheck

    i’ll be it–>albeit

  2. lizbeth

    Many sex addicts and mostly women have no coupled orgasms, they are narcissists and compulsively need attention (love, sex, whatever).

  3. blahblah

    Why does my vagina always feel like a battle field. Lolol. A battle field. A battle field. A battle field. Better go and getcha armorrrrrrr. Haha.

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