Amuse-Bouche: Harry’s Bar and Burger

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Reasons you might already be familiar with Harry’s:
-It’s right across the street from Olives.
-There is a giant cow statue out front.

Things you might not actually know about Harry’s:
-Burgers are half-price from 3-5, erryday.
-They have 68-ounce Das Boots.

This hole-in-the-wall burger bar on North Main has a drool-worthy beer line-up (including, yes, legendary beer boots), chili cheese jalapeño fries, and a menu that reads like a psalm to bros the world over. Combine that with kitschy charm—cow-print walls, vintage-y décor, and a TV in the bathroom that plays Pulp Fiction—and we’ve got ourselves a crowd-pleaser.

Burgers are Harry’s raison d’être. They’re served as sliders and come in pairs, like if Noah’s Ark reopened as a greasy burger joint. All are made with Hereford beef that’s ground in-house, and their potato rolls are buttered and toasted on the griddle. They could be a bit thicker, with more beef and less grease, but they’ll certainly do the job (and more). Salt and pepper fries are good, not great: cooked to perfection; probably frozen. And don’t miss the adults-only milkshakes (!!!). Try a vanilla ice cream float with Moo Thunder Stout and chocolate sauce or the Caramel Twinkie (vanilla vodka blended with ice cream, caramel and one whole Twinkie). It’s like This Is Why You’re Fat in real life, plus alcohol!

Frita Cubano!

The best part? If you go at happy hour, between 3 and 5, burgers are two for the price of one—so you can really go to town on those sliders. In addition to the classics, one burger is topped with perfectly crispy bacon and another has double the patty (double the fun). Pig Pile is a man burger, featuring a heap of pulled pork. Frita Cubano is filled with string-thin potato sticks and a spicy, fruity Cuban ketchup that’s a nice occasional change from Heinz. Not to be outdone, the M.O.A.B. is one of the stand-outs; with cheese, bacon, mushrooms, and onion strings, it’s borderline pornographic. Careful with the Fungus Among Us, which could be life-changing but for its meager scrap of Portobello and barely detectable truffle aioli.

Harry’s service is its weakest link. Our waitress brought a dish we didn’t order and charged us for it, never got around to bringing our water, and generally seemed like she had better things to do. The kitchen, too, was a little slow, but perhaps that’s to be expected in a cramped restaurant during happy hour crunchtime. Still, while the burgers aren’t perfect, they’re damn good, and the prices absolutely, positively can’t be beat.

High: Alcoholic milkshakes. Greasy burgers with fun toppings. Happy hour. Beeeeer.

Low: Negligent service and hype. Don’t go in expecting a $20 burger. Do expect a $5 burger that blows other $5 burgers out of the water.

Bottom line: Your best bet is to go to Harry’s for late lunch. Enjoy the two-for-one burgers with a big icy beer and no rush, and you’re all set.

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