The Full Lo(ko)down

The founders of Four Loko (left to right): Jeff Wright, Jaisen Freeman and Chris Hunter // The Fix

Just when you thought BlogDailyHerald was finally done providing royal wedding-status coverage of the most infamous drink of our generation, we dig up what may be the most comprehensive look at Four Loko ever published. Spanning four not-so-loko but thoroughly informative pages, Jay Cheshes’s article–relying heavily on interviews with the drink’s creators–follows the alcopop from its humble days as a fratboy fantasy in the early 2000s to a heavily-debated national spectacle by late 2010. We’ll leave it to you to read the whole article for the details, yet we did have a few stray observations:

  • Played college football? Didn’t make it to the NFL? Turn to your second passion: high-gravity, yet somewhat drinkable, alcoholic beverages. Seriously, try convincing yourself that the guy on the right doesn’t look like an ex-linebacker (Freeman, pictured middle, was actually a “hockey star” at Ohio State).
  • The product always reminded us a little bit of Sparks and, as the article reveals, the creators began by initially selling a 16-oz, 6% ABV ripoff of the original alcopop.
  • In a profound observation, reporter Jay Cheshes concludes his article by stating that the caffeine-free Four Loko “will still lay you out” and predicting future government intervention since the fundamental problem still exists. If only all media writers were as astute and insightful as Cheshes, then maybe one of them could reveal that even without Rob Schneider, new Adam Sandler movies will still get panned by the critics because they actually aren’t funny.

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