Seven things you don’t want to hear in class today

Shopping period classes are kind of like pilot episodes of television shows. In the first forty minutes you’re exposed to the characters of the course (professors, TAs), the mood is set and you develop a general understanding of what you’re getting into for the next 13 weeks. But, just as with a bad TV show, there are some red flags that indicate that the course (or professor) may be an absolute dud. Check out the seven signs that your class is more Cavemen than Mad Men after the jump.

  1. “The European pirates would rape and pillage their victims to the point of almost complete destitution…kind of like how my wife took the dog, the kids, the house and five grand a month.”
  2. “You in the front row, do you have any idea how offensive that Redskins sweatshirt is?”
  3. Welcome to Thunderdome, bitch.
  4. “Your grade for this course consists of 30% class attendance. Your grade out of 100 decreases by 5 points for the first missed class and 10 for every absence thereafter.”
  5. “Goddamn, don’t you hate it when your fucking kids leave their fucking bikes in front of your fucking house. Kids, take it from me, Trojan ultra-thins feel better but they’re unreliable.”
  6. “Wasn’t Diddy great last spring?”
  7. “I give out grades according to cup size….no, I’m completely serious. If you have a penis, you might as well take the other section.”
Happy shopping!

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