Today is Columbus Day. Since this is the Blog, you probably thought we were going to make some witty
strikethrough joke about Brown’s monumental ‘Fall Weekend’ decision and how we don’t use the word Columbus around these parts anymore — sorry we’re not sorry. Columbus Day is a federal holiday, observed by banks and post offices and other institutions where people usually get things done in their time off. Thus we’ll refer to the holiday by its proper name when remembering and reflecting on its namesake…by retweeting entries from his diary chronicling his first journey to the New World in 1492-93. While much of the diary appears in an edited, more narrative form (thanks to the editing skills of everybody’s favorite friar/historian/apologist/social activist Bartolomé de Las Casas), there are several passages that feature Columbus’s candid, first-person accounts of his expedition. The twitter travelogue of the Columbuster starts getting real after the jump.
8/2/92: it is very important that I forget sleep and pay much attention to navigation…which will be great labor #NoSleepTilAsia
9/14/92: [my men] had seen a tern and a tropic bird, and these birds never depart from land more than 25 leagues #navigationproblems #needmygps
10/7/92: fired a lombard as a signal that [we] saw land #conquestswag #finallymadeit
10/11/92: soon [we] saw naked people #hotinthecaribbean @michelangelo
10/11/92: I showed them swords and they took them by the edge and through ignorance cut themselves #ignoranceaintbliss #doubleedgedswordtocome
10/11/92: they should be good and intelligent servants, for I see that they say very quickly everything that is said to them. #workforce anyone?
10/15/92: when @UrHighnesses some other time again send people here, the natives will receive them well #hopefully
10/23/92: Nothing was recognized except this aloe, of which today I also ordered a lot brought to the ship to take to @UrHighnesses #sunburnbegone
11/12/92: @DaPope I saw and recognize that these people have no religious beliefs, nor are they idolaters. #ripeforJesus much?
12/9/92: some fields, the most beautiful in the world, and almost comparable to the lands of Castile, because of which [I] named the said island the Spanish Island [i.e. Hispaniola]#hyperbole #discovery #finderskeepers
12/11/92: Caniba is nothing else but the people of the Grand Khan, who must be here very close to this place #stillthinkitsAsia
1/13/93: Indians, having seen by this that they were able to achieve little…took to flight so that none remained #winning
Happy Columbus Day, everyone. Now you know that the man who discovered America really enjoyed tweeting @UrHighnesses and thinking about the future with ignorant optimism!