iCan’t Wait for the iPhone 4S: Parting with your CrackBerry

Hi, I’m Meredith (cue the collective “Hiii, Meredith”) and I’ve been a CrackBerry addict BlackBerry user since 2007. Throughout the past five years, my loyalty to RIM and the BlackBerry has been unwavering. However, within the past year, I’ve lost one phone to a torrential downpour, one to the hot tub and one to unknown causes.  I finally caved—it was time to upgrade to the token Cool Mom of all phones: the iPhone 4 (yes, I missed the boat on the iPhone 4S).


Like me, you may decide to make the Hajj to purchase your first iPhone, the iPhone 4S. You’re sick of dealing with all the recent #bbmproblems. What’s the point of a BlackBerry if you can’t use BBM or Browser? I mean, really. Even on days when your internet is working at normal speed, in the time it takes you to check the weather in Providence, your friends with iPhones can check the weather in Providence, New York and Cupertino in Fahrenheit and Celsius.


Although you can’t wait to use your 8-megapixel camera and to shout random shit at meet your new best friend Siri, you may not be quite ready to part with your old, or perhaps extremely old friend: your BlackBerry. You feel this way for good reason. Weaning  yourself off your Crackberry takes a lot of discipline.  You may be a bit apprehensive about your potential withdrawal from BBM—there’s nothing like the classic (y) emoticon to respond to BBMs when you’re too lazy to give a real reply, or like seeing when people are intentionally ignoring you (or being able to show others that you are in fact ignoring them). But don’t fret — you’ll get over your addiction in no time. To help you out, I’ve rounded up some iPhone pros and cons (including Damn You Autocorrect: Brown Edition):


Things you’ll love:

1) Your iCal and iTunes in one place: Forgot to bring to your iPod to the gym? You can use your iPhone. Forgot to bring your laptop to class to check when and where you’re meeting with your advisor? You can check your iCal app on your iPhone. Your whole life is literally in the iPalm of your hand.

2) Apps: Words with Friends, Expando and Angry Birds make BlackBerry’s Brickbreaker and Wordmole seem archaic in comparison. Want to know your Bank of America Balance without going to Angell or Faunce to check? There’s an app for that. Did you forget your Starbucks card? There’s an app for that, too. Punch in your Starbucks card number and display your barcode when you’re paying for your drink. Need to know how to get back to College Hill from Downtown Providence? So nice of Sean Kingston to offer, but Google Maps can take you there. It’s in the little things, people.

3) Camera: Capture this: The iPhone 4S camera is 8 megapixels. Not only is this extremely high quality for any phone, but you can download Camera+ or Instagram apps. These apps allow you to fade or saturate the colors of your picture, add a Polaroid-esque border, mupload it to Facebook and voila—you’re an instant Hipster. You can even take high-quality (gasp!) videos on your iPhone.

4) iMessage: Yup, they did it. Products with iOS 5 will include iMessage, a new messaging service for all iOS 5 users. You can send unlimited messages to anyone with an iPhone (which by next week will be every single one of your friends), iPad or iPod Touch, share pictures, videos, and contacts and see when your friends receive your messages and when they are typing. Sound familiar?

Things You’ll Need to Get Used to:

1) Auto-Correct: Chances are you’ve been on damnyouautocorrect.com and think you couldn’t possibly make any of the same mistakes. Unfortunately, you’re wrong. The touch-screen keypad is guaranteed to produce copious spelling errors for new and old users alike. Combine this with various Brown acronyms, abbreviations and bizarre names you’ll be including in your texts, and you get Damn You Auto Correct: Brown Edition. Get ready for texts that make you appear to be speaking solely in medical/scientific terms and/or be extremely blunt.

Damn You Auto Correct: Brown Edition

  • DPhi —> Sphincter: “Left my phone in Sphincter.”
  • Scili —> Scoliosis: “The Scoliosis is making me depressed.”
  • Vdub —> Vein: “Running through the veins to get on line for CFF.”
  • Wriston —> Wrists: “There’s a cow lying on wrists.”
  • JWW —> Jew: “Going to tutor in Jew.”
  • Faunce —> Faunae: “So much sushi in Faunae.”
  • OMAC —> iMac: “Saw this really hot guy on the lifting in the iMac.”
All in all, Steve Jobs was a genius and a baller (#iGrieve). Yes, you may miss BBMing for a day, or using PING! to annoy the crap out of someone who hasn’t read your oh-so-urgent messages. But I can promise you that you won’t regret your decision to make the switch. Go out and get it October 14th.

Leave a Reply