Deconstructing KBerg(‘s Facebook page)

Facebook: the final frontier. A place where politicians and mustached Greenpoint loft-dwellers alike can join in social networking bliss while some kid who didn’t even graduate from Harvard makes billions off of their personal information. That’s right. Facebook isn’t reminding you to watch the new Kelsey Grammer series Boss because it loves you, it’s advertising it to you because your favorite television shows are Cheers, Fraiser and, for better or worse, the one and only season of Grammer’s failed post-Fraiser sitcom Back to You.

If you haven’t already noticed, here at BlogDailyHerald we like to overanalyze things. So when we found out that Katherine Bergeron (aka KBerg) had an actual Facebook page, we just had to take Berg Watching to a whole ‘nother level. What we found will probably not amaze you, but you can find our close reading of KBerg’s Facebook page after the jump.

Profile Pics: There are only two, and who hasn’t seen these before on the Dean of the College website — the full smile, the powerful hairdo and the oh-so-fashionable white blazerjacketthing. At least there are only two pictures that are basically the same. KBerg definitely knows that Facebook coolness is inversely proportional to one’s number of profile pictures.

Employers/Education: A simple mention that she is the Dean of the College at Brown University (with no thumbnail, Brown the Employer seriously needs to get its Facebook act together). And the always humble KBerg only lists her Wesleyan undergraduate education (despite having a two graduate degrees in musicology from That Red School in Ithaca), because any hip Facebooker knows that PhDs are about as ‘in’ as playing FarmVille.

Basic Information: In classic KBerg fashion, understated and terse. She only bothers to confirm that she is a woman and confirms that “This is the *official* Facebook account for Dean Katherine Bergeron.” Good to know it’s official, with asterisks.

Website: http://brown.edu/Administration/Dean_of_the_College// #universityswag

Wall: bringing Facebook coolness to new heights, KBerg only has one visible wall interaction, a post dated April 15, 2010. In fact, she’s so Facebook indifferent that she even thought to instruct us to reach her via email. Honestly though, if Facebook still has one thing going for it, it is the best and fastest way to get in touch with anybody, anywhere in the world — apparently KBerg’s cosmopolitanism doesn’t extend beyond discussing finch beaks, foreign factories and broken dew during convocation. Also, this single wall post subtly reveals her age and her credentials (embedding one’s credentials in a wall post is the equivalent of a Facebook humblebrag - “oh I didn’t mean to flaunt my terminal degree – I just wanted to provide a link to my faculty page!”)

Bottom Line - the most interesting thing about Katherine Bergeron’s Facebook was finding out it exists.

We are tempted to friend her to see if her profile is just super, super private and actually filled with candid goodies like her favorite movie (Mr. Holland’s Opus?), favorite music (Deep Forest? —disregarding their uncompensated appropriation of African chants) and inspirational figure (Brown Women’s Rugby)…but friending people is so uncool. Thus, the world may never know…

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