FrugaList Vol. 2

‘Sup, britches.  You have money but you want to spend less of it.  Understandable.  None of us wants to be nickeled and dimed until we are forced to get a buzz from candy.  Take heart – it’s the FrugaList, Vol. 2.

FOOD

Brown treats food like the tears of orphans – a rare commodity to be conserved at all costs, supped silently in the dark of the night, and priced beyond infinity until even the Ratty’s all-you-can-eat baked scrod looks like fleshy gold.  But there are ways around it, beyond, you know, blatantly stuffing your bag with 50 Nuckets and sidling out.

Consider this:  next time you’re in Jo’s on a quesadilla night, pay attention to the white condiment containers.  They’re tubs of fun, just waiting to be filled with…wait for it..soup.  SOUP.  One night I naively thought that they were, indeed, meant to be filled with soup, so I stacked a pair of chowdahs on top of my quesadilla and went to pay.  When I was unquestioningly charged $5.95 (or whatever queso costs), for the whole load, I stood stunned by the culinary concussion grenade that had roared through my mind, then handed the cashier my card.  Had three meals right there, for the price of one.  Smart.  And if you’re a BUDS worker reading this, don’t be a dick.  You know we’d do the same for you.

Savings: 500 Brown Dollars (although it’s probably changed since I last went to Jo’s)

FOOD

YES another food one, because I’m not feeling artsy today.  This one is a little mean-spirited, mostly because it was Halloween and, well, we ran out of both really good ideas and things to give.  If there are still children coming by your house or your frat or your roadside fruit stand begging for candy, please, reach deep down into your heart – but only shallowly into your wallet – and hand out Necco Wafers.  Goddamn.  I hate these things.  They are corrupt, powdery discs that I firmly believe are rejected communion wafers that the Vatican cast out for burning the faithful on the tongue.  Do not eat them.  They are huge assholes.  But hey, when it comes to building character in the rambunctious, irreverent youth of our nation, nothing beats a few tears and dirty looks.  Make it happen.

Savings:  The firm will and moral stability of America’s future

MUSIC

Illegal music downloads, BitTorrent, blah blah blah.  Fine. I get that nobody pays for their music and that the RIAA is quite possibly the Antichrist.  That doesn’t make SPIN’s monthly free song sampler any less slick, though.  Every issue comes with a download code for up to a dozen free songs that the editors think are cool, but you don’t even have to get a physical copy of the magazine, or even have a subscription at all. Just go to SPIN.com and click on the link.  Bam.  You clicked. Done. Didn’t hardly make you sweat and now you have new music.

Savings: $10.20 (what you’d pay for the November sampler on iTunes)

1 Comment

  1. budsworkerbeingadick

    #1 is funny and all, but that’s $7.20 you’re stealing per two-soups-masquerading-as-condiments trip, dude. i don’t think there’s a meaningful distinction at all between this and stuffing nantucket nectars in your bag…? and i’m not saying either act of theft is horrible – i’m just saying, don’t delude yourself.

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