Sometimes getting out of your room is a tough gig. For most girls, you gotta remember to do your hair and makeup, put on jewelry, deodorant, shoes, bra and underwear (keyword in this sentence being “most”). With so much to do, sometimes you just forget the most basic of clothing: pants. In case you can’t just look down and figure it out – and at Brown there are so many heteronormative versions of pants that we’ve decided to overhaul the entire hegemony of pantalonal hierarchy – here is a flow chart to answer the question: do these count as lower-body garments? Am I wearing pants? If you’re doing it right, your pants are probably patterned, preferably floral, and that gust of wind won’t leave you with goosebumps up and down your thighs.