Chow Down Brown: Giant Patriotism and Super Snacks

Last-minute centerpiece?

Ah football, that most American of traditions. And what Easter is for Christians, what Yom Kippur is for Jews, what Festivus is for the rest of us, the Super Bowl is for America. On this high holiday of American athleticism (and capitalism at its best), it’s imperative that we be GIANTLY PATRIOTIC by insulting each other, throwing temper tantrums over missed field goals, betting irresponsible amounts of money, and glutting ourselves on Mexican food. (Makes sense, right?) And what could be more Amurrican than New York vs. Boston? A showdown between the two in the heartland (say, Indiana…in a stadium named after an oil company). We all know that New England clam chowder trumps its Manhattan (or, to be accurate, Jersey) counterpart, but that barely scratches the surface of classic Super Bowl food. Below, our ideas for snacks you can make — be it off meal plan or completely BuDS-sourced.

If you don’t feel like making it to the grocery store, general fixings, such as tomatoes, lettuces, cheese, and beans, can be procured ahead of time from pretty much any BuDS location. Scout out the Ratty salad bar, work the Jo’s quesadilla and salad lines, or use those spankin’ new Bear Bucks at Lil Jo’s or Campus Market to stock up.

It literally doesn’t get more Super Bowl than wings. If you’re not planning on making a trip to the grocery store, Wings Over Providence does deliver them. However, if you’re feeling adventurous, you can’t go wrong with this recipe. Extra points if you make your wing sauce using sri racha.

  • Meal plan version: fashion some bootleg “wings” using grilled chicken breasts from the Ratty or a spicy chicken patty from Jo’s (no, they’re not wings, but you get the picture). Prep your own sauces — all you really need are Frank’s Red Hot (Ratty-sourced) mixed with butter (yeah…); blue cheese dressing is also in order.

Guacamole is pretty easy to improvise. Buy your own avocados, lime juice, and cilantro, then go to town on them with a masher. Throw in some salsa if you want an added kick.

Seven-layer dip: refried beans, guac, sour cream, salsa, and cheese are technically only five layers, but pile them in a pan or deep bowl, heaviest first, and toss veggies on top at your discretion (still only 6 layers).

  • Meal plan version: the Ratty is serving “quinoa black bean salad” on Saturday — get creative with that, or if you find yourself in dire straits after kickoff, snag makings from the Ivy Room taco salad station.

Potatoes: God’s gift to mankind. Filling, versatile, and starchy enough to absorb all that Natty Light you know you’ll be downing, they’re a good blank slate for Super Bowl snacks. Loaded potatoes, twice-baked potatoes, mashed potatoes, potato skins… Go wild.

  • Meal plan version: the Ratty is serving baked potatoes on Sunday, so go nab some along with sour cream, whole milk, cheese, bacon bits, green onions, and the spices of your choice. The world is your oyster. Gild the lily and hybridize these with another football favorite by making baked potato potato chip nachos. All ingredients, or at the very least close substitutes, can be acquired using points.

Ready for dessert? Our attention has recently been called to a certain stroke of pastry genius called, #problematically, slutty brownies. Go to an old-school grocery for supplies or hit up Lil Jo’s (brownie mix may need to be outsourced from Tedeschi). This is guaranteed to make your tummy happy and may have the added benefit of winning you a marriage proposal (or seven). Make it all the more provocative by upgrading to à la mode.

Finish that meal with a pun: Super Bowl Sundae. Ice cream can be found anywhere in this dairy heartland— even the Gate and Jo’s have pretty exotic flavors from nearby SoCo Creamery. Make your own hot fudge by literally just melting down chocolate, but Hershey’s chocolate syrup will do in a pinch. Use artistic license in selecting other add-ins.

Go forth, ye Brunonians. Eat, drink, be merry (or belligerent), and for the love of Tebow, don’t order pizza unless you don’t mind getting your food long after your friends have polished off their slutty brownies.


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