State of the City: Raging on fences

We got CV(P)S! It appears that CVS has posted huge profits for the final quarter of the year. The R.I.-native company attributed its growth to a new long term contract, reported the ProJo. As astute as that analysis may be, we know the real secret to the company’s success — strategic placement of the ping pong balls right next to the red party cups. No paddles needed. #weplaypongtoo #itscalledbeirut

Today’s agenda involves a grammar workshop that will be closely followed by shots. The school superintendent of Central Falls has come under pressure as a result of his department’s delayed notification that one of his teachers was providing alcohol to students. The 22-year-old Emma Wise apparently brought several of her high school students to a liquor store and proceeded to drink with them after a football game. Liquor?! The best my teacher ever did was shotgun some Natty Light with us after a journalism report-a-thon (or was that just organizational bonding?). But Emma, my dear, you’re not so Wise.

Swinging for the fences. In a story that actually made the front page of the ProJo, two women in Jamestown, R.I. won a court case that forces their neighbors to take down a fence they say was built out of “spite.” This kind of hard-hitting reporting really gives the conflict in Syria some perspective. Oh, ProJo…

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