Unless you have an exciting date (and the Ratty doesn’t count), the best part of Valentine’s Day is when an a cappella group disrupts your class to serenade an unsuspecting fellow classmate. I’m not sure which scenario is more awkward: the crowded lecture hall where 100+ students witness your embarrassment or the intimate seminar where everyone has a great view of your face as it grows redder than a Solo cup.
Even professors excitedly await the spectacle. Last spring, my professor in a relatively small class remarked that she hoped someone would come to serenade a student. Luckily for her and the other amused students, the Ursa Minors walked in during the last few minutes of class to sing “Only You” to a girl sitting right in the middle of the room. She awkwardly slouched in her seat, nervously whispered to her friend, “Who sent that to me?” and, essentially, did not play it cool. At all.
That girl was me.
Now, one year older and wiser (not really, but I can pretend), I’m offering advice about how to act natural if the Ursas interrupt your class, call your name, and serenade you. And just a heads up, I heard the pirate a(“RRR”) capella group is doing valentines this year too, so be prepared.
1) Check your phone and don’t look up. This works in pretty much any potentially awkward situation in life.
2) Stare at the person next to you so everyone is confused and thinks they heard the name wrong.
3) When the performers are about to say the receiver of the valentine’s name, start a standing ovation and keep it going for long enough that the professor gets annoyed and kicks the a cappella group out before the embarrassment-inducers can announce a name.
4) If it’s from your boyfriend or girlfriend, just proudly embrace it.