Editorial Disclaimer: This post has been created by college students for college students. It has been rated NC-17 for its sexual nature and anatomically graphic references. Please proceed at your own risk. Thanks for reading! Love, BlogDH
Valentine’s Day. Couples treat each other to flowers, chocolates and singing Mariachi bands. Your friend opens up her JWW mailbox to discover two tickets to New York from her beau. No fair! What about your box? You glance around Salomon 101 and everyone is passing around Sweetheart candy. Where is your Yum-Yum?
No worries, dear. This Valentine’s Day, Heather Hot Pants is celebrating the other V-Day. No matter if you’re single, hooking up or in something more committed, your little lady spot needs to be pampered, too.
1. Get a massage
- Whether you’re with a partner or driving solo, you’ll need some good moisture to keep the party hot. Spit works well if you’re on a budget. But since this is V-Day, why not splurge? The stuff you’ll find at CVS like KY and Astroglide works fine but unfortunately contain allergy and yeast infection-promoting ingredients like glycerine. For an upgrade, try Mister Sister on Wickenden. My favorite lube is water-based Liquid Silk. Avoid oil-based lubes like massage oils or baby oils. These make latex condoms pop faster than a pin would. If you want more tips on picking out a good sex moisturizer, see the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health.
- Searching for a toy to complement your new wet stuff? Be sure to do your research first! Most gadgets are made with jelly latex, which leaks a toxic chemical called PVC. Easy ways to tell if a toy is dangerous? Sniff it. If it smells like a shower curtain, it’s cheap plastic that will leak. Stickers with a “For novelty use only” label are no good either. Safe toys are made of silicone, glass, pyrex or stainless steel. More advice on picking out a good toy (that’s not for tots) can be found here.
2. Go easy on the sugar
- Look, I know it’s Valentine’s Day, but your kitten will thank you later for avoiding an intense sugar high now. Doctors still debate it, but many believe that high-sugar diets can cause frequent yeast infections. Not fun!
- Another point of caution for V-Day? If you’re getting frisky with food, avoid putting edibles up any orifices. Whipped cream + naturally occurring vaginal yeast = recipe for disaster. As the guy behind the counter at Mister Sister told me, you don’t want to “bake bread down there.”
3. Get a new haircut
- Maybe you shave, maybe you let it grow wild or maybe you trim on occasion. The men I’ve been with have expressed little preference one way or the other. As one former hook-up buddy of mine liked to say, “When you’re eating a good meal at a nice restaurant, who cares what the carpet looks like?” But the tastes of your partner and all pubic hair politics aside, sometimes changing up your style down there can be a fun treat just for you! I was a big fan of using Nair on the sides and cleaning up with a trim. Now I’m into full waxing. The bare skin leaves the most sensitive parts exposed during play with a mate.
- Local Tip: If you want to try waxing in the Providence area, go to the Spa Facing Thayer. If you’re on a budget and want both stand-up comedy and a wax, go to Anna (AH-nuh) at Squires Salon. From Belarus, Anna is one of those immigrant-hating immigrants who will give you all sorts of love advice if you ask. Best part? She’s quick, clean, and professional.
4. Get Caught in the Best Positions
- If you’re sexually active and looking for the best positions for your female-O, remember these wise words: Push the Pink Button! Here’s the rub about intercourse: you’re not directly hitting your most sensitive area. For best results, you’ll have to be proactive about making sure you don’t abandon your best friend in the act. (Maturity warning: These links are sure to make you giggle.)
- Partner on top: Yup, good ol’ missionary is a universal, ancient practice for a reason! Your partner’s body weight close to you will help put pressure on that O-releasing spot.
- Spread Eagle. Your partner stands facing you on the edge of the bed. Your legs are up in the air, by his or her shoulders. Let your partner wet their fingers and stimulate down there as you get heated. Hey! What better way celebrate Valentine’s than with a wide open “V”?
Added bonus: Be sure to check out the legendary campus talk tomorrow, I <3 Female Orgasm.
Happy V-Day to all!