Fred Flintstone. David Beckham. John Travolta in Battlefield Earth. These three men, all with facial hair, have perpetuated the philosophy that beards are awesome. Some social researchers, however, believe this connection to awesomeness may be untrue. According to a recently published study of women in New Zealand and Samoa (ensuring some anthropological diversity), women consider men with facial hair to be almost universally less sexually attractive than men without. Yes, kid proudly sporting a soulpatch-mustache combo, this applies to you, too. Of the 200 women surveyed, the vast majority determined men without beards to be “significantly more attractive.” The influence of such conclusions is sure to be far reaching. For instance, this data will finally put to rest the age-old dilemma of whether Bradley Cooper was hotter in Wedding Crashers or The Hangover. Moreover, it explains how beardless actors Woody Allen and Adam Sandler have continued to find such beautiful companions film after film. For the college crowd, this study poses a targeted attack on the ritual of No Shave Movember and the even more common practice of being too lazy to shave. In conclusion, if you think you’re single because ‘nobody gets you,’ the simple solution might just be to get that hair off of your face.
Ratty Vs. V-Dub, 10/5
Ratty: Cheese Ravioli w/ Pink Vodka Sauce, Beef Cannelloni w/ Tomato Sauce, Chicken Santa Rosa Calzone, Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies.
V-Dub: Beef Barley Soup, Chicken Fajitas, Vegan Black Bean Taco, Mexican Succotash, Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies.
Advantage: V-Dub. Fajitas are just too good.
Ratty: Baked Cheese Manicotti w/ Meatless Sauce, Chopped Sirloin Patty in Onion Sauce, Lemon Sesame Chicken, Vegetable Herb Medley, Chocolate Sundae Cake.
V-Dub: Meatballs with Sauce, Vegetarian Corn Chowder, Pizza Rustica, Couscous, Vegan Chana Masala, Saigon Saute w/ Vegetables, Chocolate Sundae Cake.
Advantage: V-Dub. I don't know what "Pizza Rustica" is, but it sounds good!