Last night marked the third episode of everyone’s favorite show named after a venerable Brown drinking institution, but if you somehow missed the first two installments of ABC’s Desperate-Housewives-in-Texas, BlogDH is here to catch you up with an explanation of how the two different GCBs are not so dissimilar…
So what is GCB the show about? Basically, thirty seconds into the pilot, some enthusiastic road head causes protagonist Amanda Vaughn’s husband to veer off a California highway, killing himself and his road head-performing mistress. Turns out he was also a Ponzi schemer! Oops. Newly impoverished (sort of) Amanda now has to head back home to Plano, Texas, where all the unpopular girls she bullied 15 years ago in high school constantly plot to get even with her, led by Queen GCB Kristin Chenoweth. (Hell hath no fury like a high school girl scorned.) Amanda’s mother, Grandma Gigi, is delighted to have her back, because as she puts it: “Why would anybody in their right mind leave Dallas for Southern California? We’ve got the same weather without the liberals.”
Okay. Providence may have all the liberals and none of the weather, but there are strangely quite a few common themes between Good Christian Bitches and the GCB, namely:
Booze is as plentiful among the suburban wives of Plano, Texas, as it is at an establishment meant for drinking. Grandma Gigi loves teaching her just-like Bieber, underage grandson how to mix old fashioneds and whiskey sours. As one good Christian bitch wisely reflects when considering Amanda’s newfound sobriety: “Closest I ever came to abstinence was no salt in my margarita.”
The Graduate Center Bar certainly has a fondness for puns — don’t most of us live off Hope? — and GCB is no different, though the show’s wordplay often tends to focus on Bible-themed humor. (Kristin Chenoweth, who often finds God speaking to her through Christian Dior, tells the patrons of a Hooters-style bar that if they “want a little something on the side, try our onion rings.” )
Chenoweth sings awkwardly placed solos while the church collection plate is passed, but the Texan churchgoers aren’t the only ones contributing to a not-for-profit organization; the Graduate Center Bar is also a non-profit, which begs the question: should our GCB bar tabs be tax-deductible?
As the (bitter) majority of Grad Center’s residents knows, the GCB is a members-only 21+ institution — and the Good Christian Bitches are just as exclusive. Membership requirements seem to include tight, sequined clothing and unholy amounts of fake tanner… on second thought, maybe we should actually be comparing GCB to a certain bygone institution.
Other points of similarity/interest: misplaced singing; empowered (?) women; gay cowboys
GCB is on ABC at 10 p.m., and we’re pretty sure you can watch it at the GCB if you ask nicely and there isn’t an important sporting event on television.