Ah, restless Brunonian, your intellectual curiosity knows no geographic limits! Why spend time reading about Joyce when you can truly experience his words for yourself in Dublin? Why study science in a lecture hall when you can visit CERN in Geneva? You have to go and see the world for yourself! So, at least, you told Mom and Dad as you signed your study abroad application last Friday.
But let’s get down to the real reason why you’re going abroad. That’s right, some good ol’ fashioned foreign sex. Brown is wonderful, sure, but it’s no secret that by senior year, you likely will have slept with all of your friends. We live in a small place. A place where your last one-night stand is lurking at every turn of the Rock and the most exciting sex news is a cameo appearance of the John Street masturbator… again. Let’s fly, fly away from Brown, just for a safe semester or two, and let our genitals express themselves globally! Before you go, though, a heads up on what you’ve gotten yourself into.
Australia: It’s Gonna be an Aussome Ride. Australia is a great place for fun and casual hook-ups. Locals know that study abroad students are there only for a limited amount of time and, in the true Aussie spirit, are not trying to complicate their lives. If you’re looking to have a fun night out, drink a goon bag with your mates at home and head out to a bar or club. Who knows? You might end up going down under and wake up eating Vegemite on toast with a cutie the next morning.
Brazil: For the Sex-Crazed. Ai se eu te pego! From the country that gave the world Brazilian waxes, string bikinis, and sexy samba music, it’s no wonder that Brazilians have so much sex. If you’re into sex and want to have lots and lots of sex with many attractive people, go to Brazil. Period.
A few side notes: the gay scene in Brazil is at once open and secretive. Even if a man says he’s straight, don’t be surprised to find him making out with another man on the dance floor. Just go with it. Also, the line between sex tourism and free sex, like in many countries, is not as obvious as they seem.
Germany: If You Like Kinky Stuff. Rational Germans are serious by day but quite kinky by night. “If you like leather, whips, chains, underground parties, piercing, or anything alternative, go to Berlin,” said one friend who studied there. Good news for gays: Berlin has one of the most vibrant gay night scenes in Europe.
Spain: Best Place to Go if You Like Men. Johnny, la gente in Spain esta loca! Spanish men, it seems, are in constant competition with Italians for most aggressive (and questionably creepy) Europeans. The weird part? “Spanish women are just not that cute,” said one friend who studied in Barcelona. “But the men are gorgeous.” ¡Olé!
Traveling Programs: The Ultimate Incest. Programs like Semester at Sea or International Honors Program allow you to travel to various countries with a group of fellow students. Sounds fun, but beware! Because you travel around together, you’re likely to develop connections with your group members. That’s great — if this person is the love of your life. If it’s just to fool around, don’t do it. Feelings will get hurt. My advice? Stick to outsiders. Get some ass in every country with various locals. Just be safe.
Stay tuned for next week for more countries!
Until Next Time,