State of the City: A centenarian planking with non-polluting tea

If planking on city property is cool, then consider them Miles Davis. Providence police are investigating pictures of two women “planking” on a city police van, according to the Providence Journal (how is this possibly “BREAKING NEWS?”). Planking — individuals lying in the plank position in funny or outrageous places — burst onto the online scene in the past year, leading to thousands of such pictures. The Providence Police discovered the criminal photos on Facebook. Further ProPo investigations will explore who put a picture of chief of police Hugh Clements’ cat on Cats that Look Like Hitler and who managed to take a nude picture of Governor Lincoln Chafee ’75 P ’14 and post it on BrownBares.

No taxation without protest(ation). Opponents of Chafee’s proposed meal tax increase are staging a “tea party” downtown Wednesday to protest the two percent hike that they say will hurt business. Despite a desire to emulate our good founders, this group is taking precautions to make sure the tea they are throwing into the Providence Harbor does not pollute it. Other examples of protests utilizing historical references: retail stores burning their bras, car dealers holding a million van march, and of course, Pawtucket’s controversial decision to secede from the Union. It’s about states’ rights!

He’s a centenarian, not a centaur. A Providence local has turned 100 years old. At a surprise birthday gathering, Albert Gabriel revealed to ABC6 that his secret for living a long life was to not “get aggravated.” Is he trying to say he has lived in Providence for a hundred years and not gotten aggravated? Not even when FishCo closed? How about the demise of pizza in a cone? What about its rise? Really?

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