The Hungry Hungry Hunger Games

It was high school over again. There I was, in a D.C. movie theater, with my childhood friend, waiting in line for a midnight movie premiere.

Elizabeth Banks as Effie and Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss

“Patrick, do you think we might be getting…too old for this?”

“No. We look sixteen. Act sixteen. Do something gross, like chew on the end of your hair or something. You used to do that all the time.”

High school trauma aside, all I can say is this: It was totally worth it. It was worth the late night. It was worth the two hour wait. It was worth elbowing through a horde of tweenagers with Liam Hemsworth fetishes just to get a seat. Because The Hunger Games is one badass movie.

It’s — dare I say it — even better than the book. Sacrilege! For a literary lover such as myself, The Movie can never, ever, ever be better than The Book. Hollywood can do nothing to surpass my overactive imagination. But this movie proved me wrong. The Hunger Games movie is better than all of the Harry Potter movies, and after this I will never be able to stomach another Twilight movie again.

I enjoyed the book The Hunger Games in the way I enjoy a good tub of popcorn or a bag of Doritos: I wolfed it down and that was that. But this movie sticks with you. I cried, I laughed, and I stayed on the edge of my seat the entire two hours even though I knew what was coming the entire time.

The movie enhanced the best parts of the book: Katniss’ bravery, the suspense of the games, and the hilarious interactions with Effie and Haymitch — whom Elizabeth Banks and Woody Harrelson portrayed brilliantly. The violence wasn’t gratituous, but disturbing enough to be exciting. The movie also smoothed over the awkward bits of the book: Peeta and Katniss’ romance suddenly became believable and so much more… hot.

Speaking of hot, America, wake up and meet your new heartthrobs:

Furuyama

Credit to Will and the Br.U.Mad? Community

No, not that Gail.

But Peeta. Oh, Josh Hutcherson, you made me forget that your character possesses a dumb name that makes me hunger for a falafel sandwich with a side order of hummus. You are perfect. Where have you been all my life?

Regardless of whether you’ve read the book: go see this movie. It has action, romance, a deeper meaning. It makes you cry. It left me hungry for more. Stupid pun wholeheartedly intended. Happy Hunger Games! May the odds be ever in your favor, Peeta and Katniss. If only you didn’t have such stupid names.

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