Dino Spumoni, The Beets to join Spring Weekend lineup

Just when you thought the Spring Weekend lineup couldn’t get any more awesome, BCA has confirmed that DINO SPUMONI and THE BEETS are scheduled to perform at Spring Weekend 2012.

Dino Spumoni, America’s favorite swanky 67-year-old crooner, will bring his fair share of jazz and swag to the stage when he opens for CHILDISH GAMBINO on Friday night along with WHAT CHEER? BRIGADE and SEPALCURE. Spumoni topped the charts in the ’50s and ’60s and was just about the biggest badass of his time: he had several run-ins with the police, punched out photographers and frequently referred to himself in the third person.

The Beets will set the mood and pump up the crowd with their rockin’ ballad “Killer Tofu” before TWIN SHADOW, CAM’RON, and THE GLITCH MOB all perform on Saturday night. BCA representatives said they felt The Beets would be a great addition to the Spring Weekend lineup given the clear and present nexus between Brown’s status as a nationally recognized vegan-friendly campus and the group’s vegan, organic and natural appeal; our Ratty correspondent Gail reported hearing unanimous cheers coming from the Roots and Shoots line when students learned of The Beets’ upcoming campus visit.

It is therefore not surprising that the song “Killer Tofu” seems to parallel the Brown student’s path to veganism and tofu nirvana quite well:

  • “Fast food fells fuzzy, ’cause it’s made from stuff that’s skuzzy.”
  • “I always thought I was such a nerd, I refused to touch that strange bean curd.”
  • “I eat my sugar cereal, but it makes my teeth bacterial.”
  • “If you’re feeling kinda cruddy, just stick right by your buddy [tofu, obvi].”
Preach, Beets. Tofu be killin’ it. And Dino, you’re a pal. We’ll see y’all at Spring Weekend.
(Ed.: Another real performer will actually be announced tonight. That wasn’t an April Fools joke. This is. We wish BCA had enough money to book The Beets — they’re HUGE in Bluffington right now.)

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