Neighborhood extreme sports enthusiasts capture John Street Masturbator

Four neighborhood riders on a mission captured the infamous John Street Masturbator last night at approximately 8/7 Central.  The thrilling pursuit involved a skateboard chase down John Street, a gnarly surf adventure through downtown Providence’s canals, a quick burger break with Tito and finally a rollerskate race down I-95. It all ended when the four extraordinarily active kids in play position caught up with the fleeing peeper and gave the JSM the kind of wet willy he isn’t accustomed to.

The JSM is currently in police custody, but one of the capturers, Maurice ‘Twister’ Rodriguez, an aspiring videographer, was able to obtain the following image for those wishing to identify him:

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