FlogDailyHerald: JWW Chairs Edition

You know the sound the guy makes in Alien as the chestbuster is trying to emerge? That feral whine, part dying ox and part Joan of Arc mid-burning? Sigourney & co. are trying to hold him down while being sung to by Goody Proctor’s howler monkey.

Brown is no stranger to that sound.

More specifically, JWW lobby loungers are no stranger to that sound.

It’s those chairs. Those godawful chairs with the metal legs. I’m 100% sure the person in charge of going to IKEA and buying new furniture for J. Walter said, “Screw good design, we need chairs that sound like John Cage committing crimes against humanity.” One might view the sound these chairs make as they scrape against the slate floor as highbrow sonic art, if one were part of some strange MKULTRA sound-conditioning program. But since we are not, all we can do is try to convince Facilities to buy those little stick-on felt dots for the bottoms of the chair legs. You know, the ones that cost a whopping quarter each. You know what, forget even talking to Facilities. We’re just going to make a Kickstarter and take this matter into our own hands. Five flogs to Brown for boneheaded furniture selection.

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