Brown Bookstore swag is nuts…literally

Alright, alright, Grandma, we get it — you want tangible, wearable evidence to prove that your grandchild goes to Brown so you can brag to all your friends in book club. You’re being annoying, but we totally understand…we’re kind of a big deal.

The pressure’s on from all angles to return home from school with tons of Brown apparel for everyone: friends, parents, grandparents, cousins, siblings, etc. In purchasing a gift from any college bookstore, three criteria must be met: The gift must 1) boast name of college (the bigger the better), 2) be practical and 3) tasteful. Although everyone (predictably) will want you to buy them a T-shirt or sweatshirt with BROWN plastered obnoxiously across the front, you should consider purchasing something a little more unconventional… because now you can. The Brown Bookstore has stepped up its game this semester and has a lot of new (and bizarre) merchandise for us to choose from. Here are some gifts that will render the recipient speechless and still satisfy our three criteria for purchasing college swag:

Because everyone wants a Brown student’s nuts… especially if they’re gourmet.

Didn’t Mom always tell you to marry a doctor? Well, now the Brown Bookstore gives you the chance to sleep with one.

Rumor has it that Snooki used one of these nail files and her IQ went up 25 points.

The perfect gift if your friend is named Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy or Dopey…or if your friend didn’t beat teen pregnancy.

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