50 (more) things I learned from freshman year

As I miss my flight and get stranded in Boston head home for the summer, I figured this was a good time for my end-of-the-year-post. Much like Sam did last year, here are life lessons, musings, and observations I’ve acquired (notice orgo is not on the list).

But first, a recap of things worth reiterating from our previous post:

1. Spend as much time as possible outdoors during the four months (give or take) of bearable weather.
3. Balance your Blue Room and Ratty/V-Dub, or you may end up with 0 points and 150 meal credits on April 29th.
17. Do not be ashamed of S/NC.
23. Meet a lot of people during orientation (“meet” is not a euphemism for “hook up with”).
38. Go to random lectures. Otherwise, you’ll never know how interesting the disciplinary battle between literary arts and English truly is (and how a Bakhtin scholar has the authority to make that judgment).

As for me…

  1. Take photos.
  2. Glamour shots and photo booth albums do not count as photos. Instagram is permissible, but, dear God, stop taking shots of your coffee.
  3. There is no shame in not having had sex, drugs, or alcohol before. No worries, pace yourself, stay hydrated and help yourself to a drink if you’d like.
  4. Also, there is also no glory in having sex, drugs, or alcohol. In other words, bottomless cup is not a challenge. Just enjoy yourself for you (and to win at Ruit).
  5. Don’t be too quick to dismiss people as hepcats, frat boys, divas, etc. They probably are, but they’re also more complex and interesting than a stock character.  Have some faith in Brown’s Admissions Office.
  6. Spring Weekend brings out the frat boy in all of us.
  7. Read Morning Mail. Also makes a good study break at 1:03 in the morning, alone in the SciLi.
  8. Eat meals. If not for the food, then for the friends.
  9. Don’t drink the jungle juice.
  10. Go to theater stuff. Even if you don’t understand it, at least it’ll be a break from orgo.
  11. Similarly, go to sporting events. We might not be a sporty ra-ra state school, but we still have a good time. Plus there’s the band, and everyone loves the band (to be reevaluated after sophomore year).
  12. Laundry takes more time than you think. And more quarters.
  13. Furthermore, Providence is a safe place, but bring a knife to do laundry.
  14. Don’t be afraid to talk to people. At the very worst, they forget about you. At the very best, you make a friend.
  15. There are many Brown dichotomy debates. Declare your allegiances carefully.
  16. Heteronormative: /ˌhɛt(ə)rə(ʊ)ˈnɔːmətɪv/Adjective. Denoting or relating to a world view that promotes heterosexuality as the normal or preferred sexual orientation.
  17. Heteronormativity is used self-referringly and ironically 80 percent of the time.
  18. Be comfortable with casual nudity.
  19. It takes one hour ten minutes to get into Boston by commuter rail. It’s worth it.
  20. Choose your FYS carefully. They all sound cool, but at 3:00 in the morning, do you really want to be writing a 12-page phonological analysis of gender roles in pre-Christian Mesoamerica? In iambic pentameter?
  21. Remember the people you met at ADOCH. They will at least be familiar faces around campus, and there’s a shot they could even be your friends.
  22. You can only ever be 80 percent done. At the very best.
  23. You will also end up doing more than you ever thought you could.
  24. You are not the first person to think of hanging up a Bob Marley poster and/or an Animal House poster. Not that there’s anything wrong with Marley or Animal House.
  25. Fluorescent lights do nobody any favors: Have Christmas lights in your room. It’s the difference between home and a place you happen to live.
  26. Ask a professor to lunch. The school covers it, and professors want to get to know you. That’s why they’re here. Plus, free food. We like free food.
  27. October 31 is very cold. Plan your slutty costume accordingly.
  28. Also, costumes. Not costume.
  29. Cupboards, refrigerators, bushes, and shower stalls all make good coat racks on a Friday night.
  30. You will constantly hear bands you’ve never heard before, as well as the Billboard top 10. Ben Howard’s Carly Rae Jepsen cover, anyone?
  31. Do not hook up with your TAs or RCs. No rules against ogling them, though.
  32. One does not casually fit two people in a twin size bed. Or three.
  33. You will never want pizza more than when you find out it’s $1 at 1:00 a.m.
  34. Interactions with Thayer characters do not count as “going into Providence.” The high school kids are barely younger than you. If they are.
  35. Just nod knowingly in the Granoff Center.
  36. The bookstore will never have your size on sale until after you buy it.
  37. You don’t have to go out every day of the weekend. Quiet Saturdays can be sacred nights.
  38. Deadlines are more of a suggestion. So are capped classes. Talk to your professors — they’re real people too.
  39. “_______________________ does not exist as a binary, but rather a continuum.”
  40. SciLi versus Rock is a valid debate, but the real answer? Find somewhere else to study. Faunce, TWC, the chandelier room of JWW, and the John Hay are all good starts.
  41. Freshman year is the time to fuck up, and fuck up a lot.
  42. Learn how to play Super Smash Brothers. It unites all — fratty, hamster, athlete, or geek.
  43. Spotted at Brown (or its replacement, Eyed at Brown) is like a soap opera that you can’t look away from.
  44. Switch to Flex. Like, now. Not even a question.
  45. Get a Twitter, to follow Blog if nothing else.
  46. Room checks are a reminder to  hide all illegalities tidy up.
  47. Eating chips in the AQR is the loudest noise in the world.
  48. There’s nothing wrong with shopping at the Urban Outfitters on Thayer, but be ready for that awkward moment in section when someone else is wearing your outfit.
  49. You might think you’ll meet a diverse crowd of people, but apparently the world is just southern California and New York City.
  50. Breathe, smile, and take a moment to yourself. You’re going to be brilliant.

If you guys have any other life advice (or are one of those angry people on the Internet who insists on critiquing everything), feel free to add your two cents below.

Anyway, see you later, Brown. It’s been a good year.

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