What your Brown apparel says about you

Homecoming is this weekend, which means that for one rare day, a sizable number of Brown students will actually show some school spirit. Everyone celebrates Homecoming differently: some people, you know, actually enjoy the game (no hate — I just do not understand football); others tailgate from sunup ’til sundown. Regardless of whether or not you drink or like football—or whether or not you feel an irrepressible urge to paint your body in school colors—there’s one simple, painless way to show Brown pride this weekend: by sporting Brown apparel.

Anyone who’s stepped foot into the Brown bookstore knows that if you’re looking for a piece of clothing to show some school spirit, there seem to be infinite options. And then there are the unofficial garments: Ruth shirts, Brown State bro tanks, and the like. Here’s our handy guide to help you figure out exactly what message you’re sending when you don your favorite piece of Brown gear for today’s game.

The classic, simple “Brown” T-shirt: This shirt can mean one of two things. Either you’re part of Brown’s not-so-secret mainstream, wearing your typical college shirt while jamming to the top 40 radio at Jo’s, or you realized just before the game that you don’t own any Brown clothing so you went with the easiest option (guilty…).

“Harvard: Because not everyone can get into Brown” T-shirts: Nice try. We all know that just means you didn’t get into Harvard.  Although I guess I can’t blame you for trying to do something about your cognitive dissonance — your psych professor would be proud.

Brown lax pinny: Wait, how are you even reading this right now? Shouldn’t you be focusing on shotgunning your fourth beer of the hour?

Brown sweatpants and/or sweatshirt: You just came from the SciLi, didn’t you? The lack of effort in your outfit and the necessary protection from the freezing cold were dead giveaways. Those hours in the library paid off, though – by the end of the game, the shirtless and painted crowd will be shivering, while you’ll be nice and toasty.

Brown onesie, size 6 months: Do you even go here?

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