Sextion: Foods that spice up your sex life

For the most part, we don’t really have a problem getting aroused—we’re all college students here, right? In fact, if you’re anything like me or my friends, arousal is a perpetual state of being, whose waves tend to crash over you at the most inopportune moments: when you’re just minding your own business at Ratty dinner and a whole herd of sweaty athletes walks in, for example, or when you’re reaching hour 8 in the SciLi.

But if you’re looking to spice up your love life and to add a bit of flavor to your already rampant state of arousal, here is a helpful list of what are considered some of the top aphrodisiac foods and where you can find them right at the six eateries on Brown’s campus:

Asparagus (at the Ratty): Did you ever notice that every time they serve cheese quesadillas at the Ratty they also conveniently serve asparagus with melted cheese on top? The Ratty is where you can go when on the hunt for our first natural aphrodisiac: asparagus. These stalks were served in three full courses to bridegrooms at their prenuptial dinners in 19th century France. They are packed with vitamins B6, A, and C, potassium, fiber, thiamin, and folic acid (this last one is supposed to boost histamine production necessary for both sexes to achieve orgasm). Who knew?

Chocolate (at the VDub): Chocolate is kind of the go-to gift on Valentine’s Day, and one of the most common foods brought into the bedroom. But why does it pack such a powerful, lustful punch? For one, it contains PEA, a “love chemical” that releases dopamine during the heights of pleasure, and is also said to induce feelings of excitement, attraction, and euphoria. So if you’re looking for some sweet, gooey chocolate, look no further than our very own VDub, specifically the chocolate sauce right next to the ice cream machine and waffle maker. To amp up your sex life, simply smear, lick, and repeat.

Almonds (at the Blue Room): Have you ever had those almond croissants at the Blue Room? They are to die for. Lucky for you, these mouth-watering breakfast treats contain our next natural aphrodisiac. Almonds are a powerful aphrodisiac because they contain high amounts of vitamin E, magnesium, and fiber, as well as zinc and folic acid (there it is again!). Go nuts over these nuts!

Avocados (at Jo’s): This next aphrodisiac is not always in season, but come springtime, the Jo’s salad bar becomes ripe with the fruit that the Aztecs called the “testicle tree.” These fruits amp up your love life through the help of folic acid (WOW!), potassium, vitamin B6, omega-3 fatty acids, and oleic acid. This source of vitamin E also helps the body to produce testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone, all of which are necessary in the human sexual response. If you’re looking to heighten your sexual prowess, maybe skip the spicy with and instead grab a large salad with as much avocado as they’ll give you. Or put avocado on your spicy with. Mmm.

Banana (at the Ivy Room): This phallic food doesn’t only look sensual to eat, but it’s also loaded with potassium (to aid in muscle strength), magnesium, and B vitamins. They also contain chelating minerals and the bromeliad enzyme, which is said to enhance the male libido. Next time you’re at the Ivy Room, grab a banana smoothie or put some bananas on your fro-yo. You won’t regret it.

Basil and Garlic (at the Gate): These two aromatic and flavorful meal additions are chock full of just the right stuff to get your blood pumping. Both have been found to increase circulation (read: blood flow to those important areas), energy and stamina. Why not add some to your Gate pizza? And if they don’t have it, run to the Blue Room, grab some from the sandwich bar, and run back. Now that will get your blood pumping.

So there you have it, folks! Some of the very best foods to put you in the mood and where to find them right here at Brown! If you’re looking for more aphrodisiac foodstuffs like raw oysters and figs, you may have to head down the Hill a little bit. Can you say Federal Hill Date Night?

I hope you all found this zesty and savory post particularly titillating. Don’t forget you can email me at monicabruinsky@gmail.com with any questions, comments, or concerns.

Always be on the lookout for these palatable mood-boosters! And happy hunting!

<3 Monny

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