Seen this logo on placards in the Blue Room? On napkin holders in the Ivy Room? Seen that futuristic-looking blue machine in the Campus Market? Well, connect the dots next time. Turns out the machine makes super delicious, David Hasselhoff-endorsed smoothies/milkshakes from F’real.
Think a McFlurry but with a slightly more boutique feel and just as many calories (more on this later). You pick a flavor from the freezer – smoothie flavors include mango and strawberry banana; milkshake flavors include mint chip, vanilla, caramel chocolate crunch (limited edition!), and cookies and cream – get the magical silver cup in position, and watch it go to work. You even get to witness a weirdly hilarious, stylized imagination of what’s going on inside the machine on an LED screen: an attractive woman in a flannel throws in some fruit, Santa throws in some milk; you get the picture. It’s the Terminator’s answer to tipping at Coldstone Creamery. You see that picture below? That’s “F’reality.” It’s scary.
Now, to the buzz-kill. Caramel chocolate crunch was delicious. 620 calories of delicious. The other shakes tend to run 550 calories (about half from fat, a scary percentage of your daily saturated fat intake). If you can’t tell, F’real loves your arteries. In fact, at $3.69 a pop, I would say this gives a spicy with a run for its money on the ratio of calories per cent spent. For a (relatively) lighter choice, the smoothies run a somewhat more reasonable 260 calories.
Oh, and did I mention that the Campus Market in the basement of Faunce is giving out free samples from noon to 2:00 p.m. today, with a raffle for a free F’real t-shirt? #FreeFoodDigest.