On account of
there not being any Brown athletic events over the past week the fact that I slept through the swim meet and thought it was too cold to go to the soccer game, I didn’t visit a specific team this week. Which is a bummer, because I guess it turns out they want me to write one of these every single Wednesday. Editors these days. Next thing I know they’ll be telling me I have to empty my trash more than once a semester. In any case, we’ll rejoin the column’s regular team-by-team feature next week, but for now here’s a summary of what’s been going on in the raucous world of diehard Brown athletics fans, which consists of me and the homeless guy from “The Blog” (minus me).
- Both the men’s and women’s soccer teams took on Harvard, with slightly different results. The Sixth Man-favorite women’s team fell on some hard times and lost 4-1; the game was tied 0-0 at halftime, though, which probably counts for something (anyone who wants to let me know what it counts for would be much appreciated). Meanwhile, the men won a 2-1 overtime thriller, which I hear from my friends who went was extremely exciting–and not just because they were drunk. Too bad the temperatures were in the “cold for Alaska standards” range or I would’ve enjoyed it with them. The men’s team followed that victory with a 1-0 win over Boston College last night, giving them momentum heading into their grudge match with Ivy rival Cornell this Saturday at 3:30 p.m. Sixth Man will be there, as should everyone else–both teams are ranked in the top 25. I am prematurely labeling it the BROWN SPORTING EVENT OF THE YEAR. Yeah. That happened.
- Four Bears teams from four very different sports all faced Princeton on Saturday, but one thing was the same–the result. It seems that we feel bad about our well-known academic dominance of Princeton and have plotted to allow them to systematically triumph over us athletically, as Brown football, volleyball, women’s ice hockey, and field hockey all fell to Princeton on the same day (women’s hockey was the only team to notch a single point against the Mighty, Mighty Tigers, picking up two goals to Princeton’s four). We’ll get ’em next time, Bruno.
- On a less somber note, Brown rugby (a club team, as rugby is not an NCAA sport) is now ranked ninth in the nation and faces Dartmouth in a stakes-is-high throwdown this Saturday. The Bears’ most British athletic team demolished Harvard and Yale earlier this year and tied Dartmouth in Hanover, building up to this weekend’s epic match. Check it out at Marvel Field.
- In case you missed our earlier feature, a heated kickball game between the Herald and the Indy turned into a glorified rout, the 13-8 score betraying the absurd domination laid on the cigar-smoking, stripe-wearing hipster alternative to your intrepid official school paper. Technically, BlogDH participated on the Herald side, though aside from my far-fetched attempt to relive Little League glory by playing second base, and Alexander Kaplan’s ’14 glorious home run, I’m pretty sure BlogDH’s staff never touched the ball. Corroborating this suspicion, Blog writer Cara Newlon ’14 observed, “the fervor on the field was matched only by BlogDailyHerald’s game of Catchphrase,” which occurred off to the side with little-to-no relevance to the nearby kickball game. Making BlogDH proud, however, Kaplan was awarded an MVP award for his contributions, later reflecting: “it all happened so fast… I guess I’d have to say it’s the crowning achievement of my life.” No argument here.
Yep, that’s basically everything you missed last week while you were “doing homework,” “eating,” “watching professional sports,” and/or “living.” Seriously, though, consider checking out the rugby game, and definitely don’t miss the soccer game Saturday at 3:30 p.m. After all, it’s the BROWN SPORTING EVENT OF THE YEAR. If you do miss it, though, rest assured–you can read about it here in a week’s time. I won’t be asleep or too cold for this one. It’s too big to miss. Go, uh, (what are we again? Bison? Bulls?)… Bears!