Much like our elusive Luna Lovebad, I went to SexPowerGod last Saturday. However, the experience was not nearly as sexy for me, considering the only ‘person’ I hooked up with was the toilet. At 4 a.m., I Skyped my mother so she could lecture me (from across state lines, mind you) about the error of my wild ways. Mommy reminded me that I did not come to Brown for the sole purpose of getting shitfaced every
day weekend. Are you feeling particularly exhausted during the week? Are you struggling to put the necessary amount of effort into your studies? My fellow freshmen, here are some tell-tale signs that you are stuck in orientation la-la land and probably would benefit from taking a night—or even a weekend—off:
- If you are in danger of flunking ENGN9.
- If it takes you five shots to get the same level of inebriation that one shot got you to in high school.
- If all the open Poland Spring bottles in your room are filled with vodka and not water.
- If you wake up nice and early at 9 a.m…in a Keeney lounge.
- If you wake up repeatedly with mysterious bruises, aches, and minor injuries that you can’t recall sustaining.
- If you are getting crunk on a random Tuesday night. (Twisted Tuesday is not a thing.)
- If DPS personally escorts you home from a party.
Sure, it’s fun to go out out and “play hard.” But is your tendency to play hard cutting into your ability to work hard? If you’ve answered “yes,” instead of raging every weekend and spending all of Sunday hungover, consider staying in with friends every once in a while, or engaging in a less liver-damaging activity on campus. You can tone down your nights without completely giving up the booze—pop (wine) bottles in your dorm room with some friends and enjoy a nice movie. Play Apples to Apples, Cards Against Humanity, or Bananagrams. All of these activities are still fun, and they certainly won’t destroy your productivity the next day.
While most of us are done with our midterms, the second half of the semester is the time when we’re going to have buckle down. You have been here over two months already, and you’ve gotten a handle on the nightlife here at Brown—you don’t have to test your limits every weekend (or every Wednesday). You (and your liver) deserve some time off. You can still find other ways to have fun without absolutely needing Bagel Gourmet the morning after. Try taking off your rage hat for a bit and see how it goes.