The most significant gender difference: How to remove your shirt

The Evolution of How Women Took of their Shirts

If you ever enter in a room and see eight dudes attempting to remove their shirts, they’re not preparing for an orgy. Rather they’ve just been asked, “Have you ever noticed that men and women take off their shirts differently?”

I take pleasure in noticing the little things in life, because it’s the little things that usually provide the biggest awe. The discrepancy between men’s and women’s shirt removal provides me with this awe. But it’s not just that men and women have different ways of taking their shirts off, it’s that men look more like idiots when they do it.

When a man takes his T-shirt off, he grabs the collar with both hands as if he’s about to choke himself. Then he pulls it over his head and has the appearance of a half-Grim Reaper/ half-Quasimodo creature. Inevitably, the T-shirt gets stuck and T-rex arms begin to form. The scoreboard reads: Clothing 1, Man 0. Once the man regains his composure, he’s able to pull the bastard over his shoulders and toss it on the floor with the rest of his clothes.

When men take off their shirts, they look like children learning to undress themselves for the first time. Not only do women look like pros compared to men, their act of taking off a T-shirt is an Oscar worthy performance.

In contrast to men, women start their hands and the bottom of the shirt. Not only that, but they cross their hands in a way that borderlines an attempt at doing the Charleston. The woman proceeds to pull the shirt up, over her head in one majestic stroke. Honestly, it is so aesthetically pleasing that I expect doves to fly out from underneath. Men should be ashamed of themselves. Note that the only downside to the women’s method is that the shirt ends up inside-out.

Usually when I mention this shirt removal phenomenon to friends, it becomes like the “it’s impossible to lick their elbow” shtick. People start removing their shirts (if in public, they do so in their mind, just like you’re doing). Mainly it’s men who try the women’s method, but fail miserably. Sure they begin to laugh it off, but deep down they’re distraught. I’ve learned that the key to the women’s cross-armed technique is all in the elbows. Men always have their elbows outside of the shirt, when in fact they need to be tucked into the shirt for success. Hey, it’s something to try when you’re going insane during finals period—when the going gets rough, take your top off.

13 Comments

  1. This certainly is a silly and illogical article. One thing to keep in mind is that it isn’t right to assume that every female takes off their shirt the same way, and this is the same for men. As people have their own preferences on which method they are most comfortable and efficient with. When an individual takes a hold of their collar and pulls their head through the neck opening, they then extend their arms in front of the body and at this point one hand is all that is needed to reach over to the collar and pull the entire shirt off while during this process you’re “slightly” bent forward. Not only does this take no time to do, but the shirt isn’t inside out. I am able to remove my shirt in no time at all (2-2.5 or less seconds). If I am wearing dress clothes then I unbutton my collar enough so my head will easily fit through and then it isn’t much different at all from a regular shirt. In one case however, I will begin removing my shirt at the bottom rather than the top. That is if I get wet, then removing my shirt from the top goes against the grain and becomes most difficult.

  2. What a searing journalistic tour de force! Not since reading Chips Ahoy! Double Chocolate Chunk Cookies nutrition facts labels has this reader been more enraptured – this story had me hanging by a thread! This gut-busting – and gut-revealing – exposè poo-poos puff piece parlance and instead rips off the collar of sensitivity, dramatically delving into the belly of the beast: the hottest-(shirt)button issue facing our world: the way we remove our clothes. One writer of this article states: “…women’s shirt removal provides me with this…awe.” I think all us men folk can relate to getting a little “hot under the collar” around scantily clad coeds. But that’s barely broaching boys’ blasé behavior about blouses before. Take a peek down this writer’s bra into a never-before-seen world with an unkown thread count…of shocking details, including: “a…shirtless…orgy”, “the woman…it is so aesthetically pleasing from…the inside out” and my favorite bombshell: “men take off their shirts…children…undress…women…fly out from underneath…during their period.” Wow! Don’t put a “pin” in this dirty laundry, you’re gonna feel like you need a trip to the cleaners before this one unbuttons its first sentence. 2 thimbles way up!

  3. CA

    My wife does the bottom up thing, and all her shirts end up inside-out. Drives me insane, to the point where I’ve told her I’m leaving them inside out if I’m folding them. I’ll stick with the “man” way and cut my laundry effort substantially.

  4. Interesting topic, I was just talking about this with my man, makes you think.

  5. Interesting topic, wow, one for the ages! We are discussing this now, so Google, you’re my best friend!

  6. Marie Young

    OK ! I’ve put it to the test on a Tshirt ,cross arms, grab collar and pull, one swift motion ,the shirt is off in less than 2 seconds ,AND not inside out !

  7. Fapite

    Man this humor makes me want to slit my throat

  8. Tory Hoffmann

    Laughed so hard at this I nearly couldn’t finish reading! So true! Excellent!

  9. Stephanie

    I think she forgot that men shirts and women shirts are made differently. If a men takes off his shirt from the collar, it’s bc more often the men’s shirt is made a certain way so that it is possible. Women’s shirts are made differently from men’s so there’s a way women take it off.

    I’m a seamstress so I know.

  10. anotheranon

    The first part of this post is hilarious. Witty, well written, and original. Good job.

  11. Rick

    Not something anyone really thinks much about unless you are paying attention to the minuscule details. I googled it and ran across this blog. Thanks for sharing and helping with my curiousity!!

  12. Marshall

    Can we just talk about how Tumblr solved this and its logical for each to have a different method of doing it because men’s and women’s shirts are designed differently and people on Tumblr posted gift of doing it both way, women had difficulty doing ti the guy way and guys had difficulty doing it the girl’s way, there’s no gender fight here, different shirts learned different way each to their own.

  13. MooMoo

    Hand in the collar is the only method if your collar is too skinny and would get stuck on your head. This especially can be an issue with anyone who wears glasses, we don’t need them flying off with the shirt. Also as often stated on the internet the most effective method is grabbing the sleeve opposite of the hand you grab with, and pull up and across while you bring the arm for that sleeve through. The method I do with the collar takes no time at all and works almost the same with only one hand needed to finish(after getting the head through which doesn’t take long either) while the other slips right out the sleeve. I could almost guarantee the method women use has to do with the shirts they wear, and possibly…you know…those things hanging off their pectorals.

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