You know what really grinds my gears? End of the year lists. What were the top movies of 2012? Favorite songs? Best selling books? In the end, a lot this stuff didn’t really affect our lives that much. Sure, that middle-aged woman reading Fifty Shades of Grey on the subway that one time got a blast out of it, but did it really impact your life? (I really hope your answer is no.)
The year 2012 was chock full of trends. These were not just any trends, however. These trends have made us waste days of our time. They have made us hate humanity for creating them. Some have made us laugh. Some have made us cry out in frustration. All of them are at least somewhat regrettable. I present to you 2012’s most annoying trends:
- Y.O.L.O. Yes, you indeed do only live once. Glad you acknowledge it. Now shut the fuck up.
- Kony 2012. Where to begin? How about around 25 years ago when this whole thing actually started? Hitting a like button and buying Kony 2012 bracelets, or whatever people did, is not going to help. Good intentions, wrong avenue.
- Temple Run. Got a quick break between classes in the same building? Time for Temple Run. Waiting for your package at JWW? Temple Run. Going to the bathroom? Temple Run. The possibilities were endless. There’s nothing like being chased by monkey-zombies and just swiping your worries away. Left. Left. Slide. Jump. Sli-jump! It consumed far too much of our time in 2012, but it was good while it lasted.
- “Call Me Maybe“ One thing led to another and before we knew it, it was a new internet sensation. I know I said that most top songs don’t really impact us…but this song infiltrated what seemed to be every single aspect of life. Covers on covers on covers were made for YouTube. It was always playing somewhere, somehow.
- #Hashtags. Originally used on Twitter for shenanigans, the hashtag has forcibly imposed itself into everything you do with technology. It started with people connecting their Twitter and Facebook accounts. Tweets would show up on both websites. Brilliant, right? Wrong. People started putting hashtags in everything. Comments, statuses, and messages all took the hit; no method of communication was safe. Then hashtags migrated from computers to TV shows. Free advertising (at the expense of the viewer who has to look at those damn criss-crossed lines for extended periods of time)! Did you really think I forgot I’ve been watching the same show for the past 20 minutes? Finally, people started using them in texts and everyday conversation. Oh the horror. Please, please, please (!!!) stop the madness. Be a real person. Don’t use hashtags.
FlogDailyHerald gives the year 2012 12 (!) flogs, mostly for consistency’s sake, but more importantly for permitting these absurd things to persist throughout the course of the year. Hopefully this positive punishment will ensure that these trends will be retired forever.
Now, back to “studying.“