Writing your cover letter: A Mad Lib

It’s application season. You’ve bookmarked internship sites, done your research, and have even perfected your handshake. But goddamnit, you just can’t get yourself to write that application. Girls is just so much more interesting, and, application-writing is just so…well, boring. We’ve made you a handy dandy Mad Lib to entertain you and expedite the arduous internship application process. Body humor is still funny. Who knew? See our suggestions after the jump. You’ll totally get the job with our help (pause…not). 

Name a place on campus where you’d hook up (e.g. SciLi, Sigma Basement, Keenasty).

What qualities do you look for in a partner? Use an adjective (e.g. ten-fingered, charming, British)

In kindergarten, what did you want to be when you grew up? (e.g. astronaut, bus driver, dental hygienist)

Name a Brown-ism as an adjective (e.g. interdisciplinary, hegemonic, etc.)

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve read about on Wikipedia?

Pair a sexually ambiguous verb in past tense with a random noun (e.g. blew, rode, blasted a hot dog)

What do you really do in class? Write as a present participle (e.g. sleeping, stalking cute hockey boys, trying not to pee)

What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Write as a present participle (e.g. killing a man using a fishing hook, petting a hedgehog…backwards, taking Orgo)

If you were on “Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe” what would you want your job to be, capitalized and pluralized? (e.g. Pig Breeders, Subsitute Teachers, Porta-Potty Technicians)

What angsty blog/social network site did you use in junior high? (e.g. Xanga, Livejournal, etc.)

Give me an odd form of news delivery, capitalized (e.g. Skywriting, Telegram)

Give me a group noun (e.g. herd).

What’s your spirit animal, pluralized?

Give me a superpower, and in the present participle, give me something weird you can do and something you did in fifth grade (e.g. telekinesis, licking my tongue, eating grass).
, ,

What was a catch word from 8th grade?

Your name?

What strange or awesome title would you like to have?

Give Me a Job!

To whom it may concern:

I found your program through Brown University’s , and I thought I’d be a candidate for your program. I would bring a background to your program, and the summer would help me advance my interests in .

My work at Brown has prepared and interested me for work in your program. My freshman year, I in Professor Carberry’s lab. Classes consisted of me , and last year, I further pursued my passion by . It was through this formative experience that I was able to become competitive in the field.

But academics are not my only strengths: I also am very involved in several extracurricular activities outside of the classroom. In addition to being an active member of the Future   of America, I also write a weekly   for the Brown Daily . Through these experiences, I have learned how to work in a of fellow . Finally, as I’ve pursued several personal interests, I have acquired numerous useful skills such as , , and ..

I hope to hear from you soon. I can visit anytime, or you can reach me by email at  luvr92@hotmail.com.

Sincerely,