A few days ago, I decided I wanted to write a post about which classes are best for meeting a partner (definitely not because I wanted to construct a schedule using those classes). After receiving input from several Blog colleagues, I realized that rather than compile their ideas and give myself credit for them, we could compile their ideas and give their actual owners credit for them (in the interest of full disclosure, this concept was adapted from Grantland). So, after a week’s worth of begging for submissions, here are nine classes to find your Valentine in. By total coincidence, I’m registered for a few of them myself. Shopping period ends at 5 p.m. today, so you better get in these classes soon if you’re looking at a shot at love.
CHEM0350: Organic Chemistry
Organic chemistry might as well be called orgasmic chemistry. Somewhere in the depths of despair lies hidden a golden opportunity for meeting people. You spend ungodly amounts of time studying together; there’s terminology like “back-side attack”; and if you run out of things to talk about, you can always bitch about reaction mechanisms. Shared interests might bring people together, but shared hatreds get you friends and lovers.
CLPS0700: Social Psychology
Social Psych features 80-minute lectures on topics such as “Attraction and Intimate Relationships” and “Emotion.” ‘Nuff said. Then again, all the women in the class were in love with the professor, so it’s not like I ever really had a shot.
CLPS1700: Abnormal Psychology
Full of emotionally damaged men seeking to understand their mommy issues. Sure, they may be a little messed up, but a 9 a.m. class is the perfect bonding experience.
COLT1440A: Storytelling in the Wire
In a room with the aisles overflowing with people, you are bound to meet someone. Just hope that you create a spark with that person before a real spark kills the whole class in a fire.
ECON0110: Principles of Economics/ECON1110: Intermediate Microeconomics
It’s true that in ECON0110 you have your pick at any boy in the room. This boy comes to Brown because he dreams of a life on Wall Street, or because his parents have convinced him that he needs to understand Economics to be at least moderately successful in anything he does in life. Microeconomics is the next required course in the Economics concentration (i.e. next step on the path to securing a job in the financial industry) in which the former congregate and from which the latter flee. All species of overachieving and/or Investment-Banking-Internship-seeking guys are in one room. Yes, all species: athletes, frat bros, and GDIs. Girls—who by no means are less overachieving or Investment-Banking-Internship-seeking—have their pick at any study buddy.
EDUC____: Anything in the Education Department
If you’re looking to meet girls, you really should have feigned an interest in child development by now. Education classes are a hotbed of estrogen. And if you want to meet guys, well, just take comfort in the fact that there will be nothing to distract you from your studying. After four years of this, I’m not even going to pretend that’s a good thing.
ENGL0180: Intro to Creative Non-Fiction
A small class is naturally more intimate, and this effect is intensified when everyone is getting really personal in their writing. It’s also great to crush on someone in one of these seminars because it motivates you to go to class (often a 9 a.m.), and it pushes you to work really hard on your writing, because you definitely don’t want your future lover to workshop a piece of shit you wrote the night before at 2 a.m.–that would be mortifying! And those elevators rides in J.W.W.–you could cut the sexual tension with a knife.
JUDS____: Anything, preferably seminars, in Judaic Studies (for Chosen Ones only)
If you are a Judaic Studies concentrator, chances are you are looking for someone Jewish. I’m assuming any Judaic studies course can be helpful in that pursuit. I personally think seminars are the best classes to meet people, because you hear what others have to say and can really show interest (or bullshit interest) in the person’s opinions. Classes like Neuro and Social Psych are surprisingly harder to meet people in because there are so many, and what are you doing outside of the Judaic Studies department anyway? Classes with 10-25 students are prime, and if you have to take a lecture course definitely aim for classes with section.
PHP0320: Introduction to Public Health
In Introduction to Public Health, we spent the first twenty minutes of class one day having a “dance party” where the professor turned the lights down and blasted some Rihanna. Each student was given a bag filled with different types of Hershey kisses and our job was to walk from person to person, in the dark, take one of their kisses, and record their name on an index card. When the lights came back on, the professor told us that we had done more than share kisses–we had given each other STDs. There’s no turning back after that.