State of the City: Nemo and the Toilet Bandit

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Blizzicane. Apparently, Nemo wasn’t “that bad” after all, especially compared to the historic blizzard of ’78. At least that’s what the weather authorities tell us, though RI residents still living without power or shoveling snow may disagree just a tiny bit. The storm ranked only a 3 on a 5-point scale of storm severity, according to federal storm-rating measurements. That means it was “major” but not “crippling” or “extreme,” the ProJo reported. Clearly they were not at the Ratty on Saturday night.

That makes good cents. Brown students graduate with the lowest average debt of all graduates receiving their degrees in Rhode Island. The dubious prize of highest debt in the state goes to Salve Regina University in Newport, where students graduate with an average debt of $43,237 – more than twice as much as Brown’s average debt, which is $20,455. Rhode Island graduates hold the nation’s 4th largest average debt per student, at $29,097, and 2/3 of students graduate college with at least some debt.

Society is clearly going down the drain. A Cranston man accused of “stealing toilet fixtures from fast-food restaurants” and other businesses was arraigned last Monday. The man allegedly stole “flushing units” and “automatic flushers” from various RI businesses, including several McDonald’s and Wendy’s restaurants. The question remains: what secret evil genius plan was he concocting with the toilet fixtures? World’s most epic game of toilet tag? Make-shift coat hangers? The world will never know.

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