If you’ve never heard of the iPhone app Find My Friends, you clearly haven’t maximized your stalking capabilities. The app lets you track where your friends (or at least their iPhones) are at any given time, if they agree to share their location with you. There a few times when this can come in really handy, but most of the time, it’s just plain creepy. Use the following rankings to see how creepy your use of Find My Friends is, on a scale from Actually Useful to Your Friend Should Get a Restraining Order.
Seeing if your friend is in the Ratty so you’ll have someone to sit with — A little creepy. We all know how awkward it is to wander around the Ratty balancing your loaded tray, hoping you’ll see someone you know so you won’t have to sit alone at one of those awkwardly big tables. Using Find My Friends is a practical way to see if you’ll have friends to sit with, or if you should go eat Chobanis by yourself in your dorm room. But you could also just text your friends to see if they want to grab lunch…
Discovering that two of your friends are secretly hooking up — Stalkward. If you happen to open Find My Friends and see two of your friends right next to each other in one of their dorm rooms all night, it’s pretty clear that something’s going down. This is when stalking gets awkward. Secret lovers, remember to hide your location on “Find My Friends” when sneaking off to one another’s rooms. Actually, this is probably a good thing to do in general if you have stalking-inclined friends (and who doesn’t?).
Finding which class your crush is in so you can “accidently” run into them after class — Getting creepy. Stop it. Seriously, this is weird. I know that Barus & Holley is the best place to meet that special someone, and the walk from there to the SciLi is super romantic, but this doesn’t mean you should stalk your crush to see when he/she is there. Instead, try drunkenly dancing into them at a party like a normal person.
Using the “Notify Me” feature so you know when your friend leaves his or her dorm — Creepy AF. That’s right, your iPhone will notify you whenever your friends leave their dorm–or anywhere else you designate–so you know to keep an eye on them. Whether it’s an innocent trip to the Blue Room or a late night booty call, you’ll know about it. Also useful so you can sneak into your friend’s room when they’re not there and steal handles from their stash. This is creepiness to the max.
While putting your number into someone’s phone, downloading Find My Friends for them and friending yourself so you can track him/her — Prom night-level stalker. This is way beyond creepy. At least with the other uses of Find My Friends, your friends knew you could see their locations. If the person ever finds the app — which you should have cleverly tucked away in some innocent-looking folder — and realizes you’re stalking him/her, they should definitely get a restraining order. But props for sneakiness.
Figuring out which party your inebriated friend ran off to — Actually useful (but still creepy). Ever lost a friend at a party who couldn’t text you clearly enough to tell you where he/she went? This is where Find My Friends comes in handy. You can see if your friend is frat-hopping on Wriston or made a 1:45 a.m. sprint to Jo’s. If there’s any reason to get this app, this is it.
Disclaimer: BlogDailyHerald does not endorse stalking your friends, or anyone else. But if you’re going to creep on them, Find My Friends is the way to do it. The only downside is that it only works in two dimensions, so it’s impossible to figure out which floor of the SciLi your friends are on.
Special thanks to my friends who let me creep on them for the past few weeks so I could write this post. You can delete the app now (just kidding please don’t I want to keep stalking you).