Sixth Man: Men’s Hockey (playoff edition)

Anthony Borelli ’13

There’s nothing quite like heading out to the ol’ rink on a Saturday night for some cold hard hockey action (note: just because nothing is “quite like” it doesn’t mean there aren’t lots of things better than it). Watching a few bros bat around the puck for a few hours is the definition of fun—just waiting for the official word from Merriam Webster on that.

Jokes aside, hockey is a great sport as long as we can shit on something/somewhere called “Clarkson University” at it. Friday and Saturday, we did just that (at Pizzitola, by the way, and I hope you feel guilty if you didn’t come), giving Bruno a series sweep over the not-so-Golden Knights in the first round of the ECAC tournament. What’s the ECAC, you say? It’s our hockey conference; there is no full Ivy League in hockey because Columbia and Penn don’t field teams. (They probably spend the money required to sustain a Division-1 hockey program on pamphlets assuring prospective students that they have at least a 50% chance of not getting killed by stray bullets if they go off campus at night.)

The Friday night win was a pretty standard 3-0 victory, complete with typical starring performances from standout goalie Anthony Borelli ’13 (31 saves; shutout) and leading scorer Matt Lorito ’15 (goal, assist). I have nothing else remotely interesting or intelligent to say about that game (hire me, Sports Illustrated!). The Saturday night win was cooler because we scored, like, 700 goals. Actually we won 4-3, but close enough. We were winning 3-0 after the first period.

When the final buzzer sounded, Clarkson got all pissy because its season was over and started taking a bunch of cheap punches at our players. As uncalled for as the violence was, I must say that the Clarksonians were semi-decent at fighting, which is about 2000% better than they were at hockey. I had a press pass and kind of wanted to interview the Clarkson players afterward, but I didn’t want to get mugged, so whatever.

This weekend, seventh-seeded Brown travels to second-seeded Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute—also popularly known as “RPI” and “where?”—for a three-game quarterfinal series. I might go because it’s not like I do anything else on weekends Brown hockey is just that awesome. After the inevitable Bruno-beats-RPI upset, the next steps are the ECAC semifinal and final in Atlantic City March 22-23. Make sure you keep up with the team’s progress, because they’re going places. We’ll keep you posted.

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