What Should You Do? Dorm room disasters edition


I was a terribly anxious teenager, exacerbated by the fact that my parents let me watch Leeza Gibbon’s show What Should You Do? every Saturday morning. I recorded all aired episodes, playing one after the other as I came out of sleep. I awoke to the credits of What Should You Do? and was scared out of my slumber with shocking, real life events. A gun in your face — what should you do? You lose control of your car and plunge into a river, you get kidnapped and locked in a trunk, you are caught in an avalanche and buried alive, a burglar enters your house in the middle of the night — what should you do? Leeza Gibbons, with her perfectly coiffed blonde hair, prepared me for every harrowing moment imaginable…but never did she prepare me for what occurred last Saturday night. You make a frothy smoothie in the blender, it tips over, breaks into pieces, and it splatters everywhere. Your friend’s hand drips with blood. There is now a Jackson Pollock on your floor — what should you do? Lick it up. Naturally.

While the likelihood of a smoothie spilling in your room is…unlikely, the likelihood of your roommate sleepwalking and peeing on your chair, or your suitemate vomiting in the shower after a night of drinking is very possible. Yes, it happens.

Let’s take this time to prepare, because at any minute disaster could strike and you probably don’t want to have to use your bedside rug as a mop, or a paper bag as a dustpan. While alternative modes of cleanup work, it’s quite sad when you find yourself scooping up shards of glass with the cardboard tube of a paper towel roll. You’re correct in assuming that it doesn’t work so well.

Given that disaster could strike at any time, you should always be prepared and keep a stockpile of valuable items that will have you prepared for any curveball life throws your way. Here are some things you should put on your shopping list next time you make a Target run:

1) Rags! Old shirts do the job. They sop up all types of liquid. More valuable than you’d ever expect them to be.
2) A dust pan. Works perfectly for shards of glass (read: broken shot glasses), food, and other solids that you’d prefer not to pick up with your hands.
3) A Swiffer WetJet. Not only are its commercials convincing, but they actually come in handy in bathrooms. (See #1.)
4) Clorox wipes. It’s like a Swiffer…but for surfaces. Brilliant concept.
5) Trash bags. Disasters will almost always involve broken things; trash bags will help throw away the remnants of your disaster.
6) Bandaids. Typically disasters involve blood. Bandaids will literally come to your aid.

Though I can’t guarantee that any of these items will work magic to prevent a disaster from occurring, hopefully they can make that dorm room debacle easy to resolve. S*&t happens, as they say, but we have a Swiffer for that.

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